Another amazing nature display from the deck of our beach condo

It’s been almost three weeks since we returned from our traditional and amazing family beach week. In late winter of each year, Grandpa Jerry studies the ocean tide charts and a decision is made about the timing of beach week – taking into account school start ups and job requirements.

Over the years we have developed various family traditions – beach week, the birthday questions, Thanksgiving sharing, a variety of Christmas traditions, etc. At this beach week we honored Joe and Alec and their birthdays.

As the grandchildren get older, we know that with jobs participating in beach week gets harder. This year Annie came from Madrid, Lilly from London, Emily and David from California, Charlie from Chicago. Everyone else lives on the East Coast – from New York to Virginia. Work kept Elsa from joining us but it was very special when she called and we dissected the specialness of beach week.

Before the start of our seven days in Wildwood Crest, Jerry and I spent two and a half days in Ocean Grove at son Jerry’s home. The trip was so smooth – Meg picked us up at the Philly train station and drove us the hour and a half to Ocean Gove. We had so much fun with Jerry and Meg and Emily and David who had flown in from California. Teresa was with some of her family but joined us for the last three days of our Wildwood Crest time. We also missed Lane and Kieran who were unable to join us but we still had thirty members of our nuclear family present for all or part of beach week.

The drive from Ocean Grove to Wildwood Crest was vey smooth.

Above we are outside the Frank Sinatra rest stop. We stopped there on our drive to Wildwood Crest. The Frank music, the Frank pictures brought out everyone’s inner Frank. What a great way to start off beach week!!!

Have never taken a poll on what family members consider to be the best part of beach week. There are so many contender suggestions. All the nineteen grandchildren are ocean comfortable so therefore are their parents. Quite a change from the children’s younger years when they were just developing that comfort, and vigilance by parents and by grandparents was the order of the day.

In earlier beach weeks each family took a turn providing a group family dinner. That worked well when the children were smaller and appetites were less. It meant that you only had to prepare dinner one night during beach week. Though that one night was challenging you had six nights when you could enjoy a yummy dinner prepared by someone else. When Covid hit we stopped that custom. This past beach week we had two pizza nights and there were some walks to the ice cream store for dessert.

Aside from riding in waves, four activities stand out: a family soccer game, bocce ball, beach walks and talent night.

Soccer games have become much more intense with the passage of time. Jerry and I enjoyed watching the family game. We may be a bit biased but we think the quality of the play is top notch.

A special thanks to son Jerry whose love of soccer is contagious. The beginning of beach week coincided with the start of the Women’s World Cup Soccer Championship. Jerry’s artful descriptions of the games have been a special treat. I think I would have enjoyed soccer as a player if it had been introduced to me at a young age. I loved running and I was a decent basketball player.

Never thought I would say this but bocce ball is more fun when you actually play rather than just watch. . For the first time I gave it a try this beach week . It worked for me to treat throwing the ball in a similar motion to the putting stroke and follow through of golf – a sport that I love. Don’t know why I haven’t tried bocce ball before but am glad I finally did. I actually came in second in one of the games.

One of the best traditions of our beach week is talent night. This usually happens toward the end of the week and is frequently preceded by some fun conversations and maybe even some practicing. There are no ground rules, no pressure and all are invited to participate. This year ten family members took to the “stage ” to entertain us with their music and guitars and words. Admitting to a bit of bragging on my part, I must say that Jerry and I have been blessed with some very talented children and grandchildren. As I have said many times before I would have loved it if God had gifted me with musical ability. But He did the next best thing when He gave me a musical husband, musical children, and musical grandchildren. I love it when different children/ grandchildren ask Grandpa Jerry to join them in their singing ventures. And I loved the solos by Alec and Quinn. When Lilly sang we got a taste of her upcoming performance at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I was very touched by Charlie’s decision to share the tale which won him second place in a Pride Month Story Slam in Chicago. It was also very moving when Maura and Paul made their debut performance.

We are very proud of the caring and compassionate young adults whom we are blessed to call our grandchildren. Don’t know where this quote came from but it is spot on : If children are the rainbow of life , then grandchildren are the pot of gold.

We are so blessed!!!

PS – Tried photo shopping in – with no success – the missing beloved family members. ‘Tis a skill to be learned.

Which road should Jerry and I follow? Is it time for us to downsize? When I was younger I thought that youth was the time of major decision making. When you got older you just coasted along on your past good or maybe not so good decisions. Having now arrived at the “golden age” I realize that thoughtful decision making is just as important – at any age.

Our present home has been our wedding house. In our sixty -two and a half years of married life we have owned three homes. This house where we live now we have lived in for the past 33 + years. It has hosted the wedding excitement of our five children. It is where we were living when all of our nineteen grandchildren were born. So many happy memories. We love being able to house our out of town families when they come to visit. And it has been a blessing to have our two local families live in the city of Falls Church – a short 20 to 25 minutes away. We have very caring neighbors. We have a wonderful church community. We have a golf club five minutes away with a challenging and beautiful course that we thoroughly enjoy playing. Every three weeks we have an excellent cleaning crew who help us keep the house in order. And we have competent help with lawn care and house repairs. With this good support system we have put in place, it would seem like we should be able to continue life in our present home.

Jerry and I are in reasonably good health but we fully appreciate that could change with the blink of an eye. Recently we lost a dear friend, Jack. He was in the hospital following orthopedic cancer surgery. When we talked with his wife the day before he died, she was so relieved he was doing so well – there was even talk of his being discharged. And then the next day he died.

Our home does not have any bedrooms on the first floor. There are 14 steps to the second floor. Architecturally speaking these stairs do not lend themselves to having a lift installed. Right now we manage the stairs fine – but that could change. And in this age of creativity perhaps there now has been developed a lift that would work. There is a first floor bathroom, a den, and a living room that could easily be converted to a bedroom, though I hate the thought of tampering with the house. It is truly my dream house as it is.

The backyard and patio are ideal. Lots of privacy. There are woods on two sides. When I reached my eighties I gave up on being creative with the garden. I now give my plant energy to patio plants though I have an ongoing battle with the deer. This year I would say that so far the deer are winning. When I was recovering from pneumonia in the spring I think my head was a little fuzzy and in setting up the patio container planters, I mixed in some deer favorites with the reliable plants that I knew the deer avoided. One evening I admired the patio plants before going to bed. The next day the plants that were deer favorites were gone – devoured I can only assume by the deer. I was bummed.

We have four bird feeders – two for all birds – and we get a lot of action at those feeders – and two just for the hummingbirds. One of the hummingbird feeders attaches to a family room window. I was aware of the hummingbird window feeders for years but could not imagine they actually worked. Wow was I wrong! This feeder gets many hummingbird visitors. You can get very close but you must stay perfectly still if you want to watch the hummingbirds as they devour the drink in their feeders. Hummingbirds are very sensitive to any sign of movement. All the birds are a source of continuous beauty and pleasure.

Should Jerry and I move to a continuing care community? It is a tough decision. It is a decision I pray about daily. We are very independent. But if we are not the oldest couple in our community we certainly are one of the oldest. Our very active church does serve folks of all ages. I wonder about the parishioners who are our contemporaries. Are they living independently or living in senior communities, or living with their children or have caretakers. When I signed up earlier this year to be a lector at morning mass I was afraid I would faint from nervousness but I have gotten over my fear and I love doing it. At our golf club we are definitely the oldest active golfers. But we positively hold our own. It very special to share this sport that we love with our family.

So what should we do? I spoke today with a friend in Florida who in the past year moved with her husband to a continuing care community following a bad fall. It has worked out very well for them but she wishes they had done some preliminary research before it became a must move situation. And we do not want our children to have to be making the decisions that we should have made.

There is a quote on aging by Betty Friedan that resonates with me : “Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” I like to think that she is right. It is just that you do not know how long the strength part will be with you.

This blog was not originally going to be about hacking, but then I was, and my blogging plans changed. This is my second experience with this modern day electronic evil. The first time was about 4 years ago. If I was upset then, this time I am angry, disgusted and upset. It is such an invasion of privacy.

Several days ago I got an e-mail from the hacker informing me in graphic detail of what he had already done and of what more he planned to do. And he asked for money – assuring me that this was the only time he would make such a request. I did not believe him.

The first time I was hacked I contacted my Computer server immediately. The department I was referred to said the hacking was a little more in depth then normally dealt with by their department and they referred me on to their “Genius Bar”. Though this service came at a price it was well worth it because the hacker had had a fun ( for him) time shutting down a number of my essential computer services.

My recent hacking was even worse and then there was the demand for money. I went right to the Genius Bar of my server. The two technicians who worked with me were excellent . It involved about five hours of phone time for the techs to do their part. And then they recommended that since my computer was an Apple that I also follow up with an appointment at the Apple Genius Bar. They had high praise for the Apple equipment that dealt with hacking and since mine had been a particularly devious job they felt that an Apple visit was definitely warranted. Again I got great tech support which ended with the technician saying that once I changed all my passwords I could feel confident in the safety of my computer. Changing passwords has been a slow and tedious job.

But in spite of the annoyance of the hacking, these past weeks have been full of particularly happy family times helping me to keep my priorities straight. For one thing there were four very special graduations: Vaishnavi from Meridian high school, Meggie and Quinn from the University of Virginia and Emily from the doctoral program at the University of California, Santa Barbara. We are so proud of these new graduates and of all our grandchildren.

Another bit of family happiness that helped to cleanse my mind from the hacker and his disturbing plan to post a video to the web of a story that he claimed to have created from my computer activities, if I did not immediately send the money he was demanding, was the twenty four hour visit of Emily and David. ( They had briefly flown East for a wedding. )All our local family gathered to be with them. It was so much fun.

And they were followed by a visit from Meg, Brian, Liam, and Atar. With the yummy food prepared by Atar and Meg and golfing with Brian and Liam, there was no time for thoughts of the evil hacker.

I find myself again thinking of my mother’s oft repeated words. She wanted to be around to see how her nine extraordinary grandchildren used their God given talents.

It is all too easy in life to let the negative happenings dominate our thoughts and actions. There is a quote from Elvis Presley that I find very meaningful: When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

What is health ? What is good health?

Recently Jerry and I have lost two dear friends. I am reminded of my great Aunt Mary ( my grandfather’s sister) who faced getting older with her usual courage and determination and honesty. She used to say that the hardest thing for her was the loss of contemporaries – those who understood the life stage she was experiencing. When Aunt Mary talked like this I thought I was being very sympathetic but now realize this is a life experience where you can only really grasp the sadness when you experience it yourself.

Also the father of one of our precious daughters in law died during this period. He and his wife lived so many miles away we did not know him very well. But we will always be grateful to him for our daughter in law.

Jerry and I are blessed to be in our 80’s and to be in reasonably good health. I think there are four categories of heath: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.

Recently we ran into a contemporary friend, Phil, in the parking lot of our golf club. We had not seen him or his wife Pat since last Fall. About a year ago he and Pat sold their home and moved to a senior retirement community. He shared with us that that day was their fifty eighth wedding anniversary. I wondered where Pat was since she was an avid golfer like her husband. Phil seemed to sense my question. He said that he was on his way to visit Pat that she was now in the memory care section of their community. Jerry and I were so taken aback. We tried to offer appropriate words of support.

Mental health is so tricky. We were never that close to Phil and his wife – they were friends but not close friends – to know if they took any special steps to maintain their mental health. With bridge, scrabble, crossword puzzles and Wordle , and an avid interest in current events and our book group, and following the activities of our beloved children and grandchildren, I feel like Jerry and I are appropriately mentally challenged.

Physically it is very easy for us to maintain a meaningful exercise program. We both might be classified by some as golf nuts. We love the game and can be found on the golf course two to three times a week. It all depends on how our body parts are holding up, and how the weather is behaving. On days when the weather is not conducive to golf we usually are able to get in a mile walk.

Emotional health and spiritual health are usually considered separately. But for me they are intertwined. On days when my emotional health is out of whack I am grateful to have my spiritual beliefs to get me back on track.

It is important for me to nourish my spiritual side. I try to start each day with a God conversation – sometimes it is brief, sometimes it is a bit longer. It gives value to each day when I offer to God the activities of that day. Within the framework of the seven days of the week I start the week praying for Jerry and me and our various needs. And then focusing on our children and their families from oldest to youngest, I go down the week, each family having a prayer day. Saturdays are for friends and universal needs. Of course I am not rigid about this schedule if these is a special need that requires more frequent prayer attention.

I was raised in the Catholic Church. Though I have been affected by the scandals that have plagued the church, and have been turned off by, and don’t agree with various church doctrines, I still feel that the Catholic Church is my church home. At one time I felt the Catholic Church provided the only pathway to heaven. I don’t feel that way any more . Each of us must find our own spiritual pathway.

There are many meaningful quotes on health. one that particularly resonates with me is by Robert Urich: ” A healthy outside starts from the inside.”

Jerry and I closed down our rented Florida condo on March 29 and began the two plus hour drive to the auto train. We were on the tenth floor of the condo building. This was a first for us. We have always thought the view from the third to the fifth floor was the best. But we thoroughly enjoyed this different look at the ocean.

Two days before our departure we scheduled a final round of golf at The Saints course in St Lucie. Our plan was for a nice leisurely round. We made a tee time for 3 o’clock having learned that at this course most of the action was earlier in the day. It was such a beautiful day that we decided to leave for the course a little early. The condo building elevator had other plans for us. When we got on the elevator the doors closed and the elevator did not move. It was, to say the least, a little freaky. Our whole travail lasted about twenty minutes – it seemed like several hours.

I was very grateful to be with my husband. I felt his calmness. We used the elevator phone and called the elevator company. The woman who answered asked if we were experiencing any medical emergencies. We said no but added that we would appreciate her sending a technician to get us off the elevator. She said that since there did not appear to be an emergency there were certain protocols that she had to follow, certain button pressing sequences that had to be tried. When the sequences were followed and the elevator still didn’t budge we said PLEASE send us a technician. Finally she said she would but couldn’t guarantee when he would arrive. I sat down on the elevator feeling that if the elevator fell ten floors this would be my best chance of survival. Jerry busied himself with the elevator buttons, focusing on the alarm button and that paid off. Another tenth floor resident heard the noise and came out to the elevator. She called and banged on the elevator door asking if we were OK. With Jerry on one side of the door and her on the other, both trying to slide it open, the door finally budged and we were able to get out. We thanked our condo neighbor profusely, walked down the ten flights of stairs, got into our car and headed to the golf course. It truly was a beautiful day.

When we returned several hours later, after nine fun holes of golf, the elevator we had been on still was not working but fortunately the second elevator for the condo building was.

Our trip home on the auto train was uneventful – we were excited to be getting back in time for the Cherry Blossom ten mile run where thirteen of our family members were participating. I found myself reflecting on my brother Bud and his running adventures. Bud ran his first marathon at age sixty – pretty impressive!!!

About fifty family and friends gathered at the Constances’ home after the Cherry Blossom to honor the runners and to honor Maura and her 60th birthday. We have a family tradition of asking what we all call the birthday questions. I wasn’t sure that the tradition would be followed with this large gathering some of whom did not know our tradition. But grandson Liam was insistent. It provided an incredible ending to a magnificent day when Maura was serenaded with a very robust happy birthday song and then asked the questions. Her answers showcased the love and the caring which are intrinsically Maura.

Now it is the end of April and my birthday is tomorrow. For me the best part of having a birthday is the effort that family and friends make to specially connect at this time. And for those who do not live close by, the iPhone is the instrument of our connection. Yesterday – for the first time in all our years of having an iPhone, our server had several hours of malfunctioning. At first I thought it was just my phone, but then Jerry’s was also misbehaving. I talked with a neighbor who uses the same server and she was having similar phone issues. Today our electronics are working fine. I have been reflecting on how much it means to me to hear from those I love. Jerry and I are truly blessed with family and friends. I must not forget those who are not so blessed.

Our good friend Dot once suggested that if only all hospitals could be built by the ocean, patient recovery time would be much quicker. I agree. I love the sounds of the ocean and the many different ways it presents its beauty and its mystery. Yesterday the surf was wild. There were warnings posted not to go in the water. There were no sail boats. There were even few sunbathers even though the temperature was a mild 70 degrees.Today is a different story. The ocean is calm. With its soft blue and aqua marine color it generates feelings of peace and tranquility. It was very special, in early March, to share this ocean and its many different moods with our son Jerry – also an ocean lover.

Growing up on Long Island in Laurelton – still part of New York City – even though we did not get a car till I was almost a teen , we were actually not far from the ocean. We were about a ten minute walk to the Long Island train and a twenty five minute ride to Rockaway Beach. I have always loved the ocean, even though as a very little girl I was intimidated by the ocean waves. My father used to bring me in the water on his shoulders. Can’t remember how old I was when I was no longer fearful but I didn’t want my father to find out. It was so much fun being on his shoulders. Then one day he took me off his shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said with a smile, “I don’t think you are afraid any more”. I giggled and swan away from him. I felt so grown up.

My maternal grandfather died in the mid 1940’s. As I said in a previous blog he and my grandmother, Nana, used to spend their summers at a small family hotel in Spring Lake, New Jersey – not far from Ocean Grove where our son Jerry and his wife now have a home.

When Grandfather died my cousin Fran and I took turns being company for Nana at the ocean. I remember one time ocean swimming in a designated swimming area that was very crowded. I was by now about eleven years old and very ocean comfortable. I loved the freedom of the ocean. I did not like being confined by a rope to a specific area, so I swan under the rope and out to my freedom. I kept an eye on Nana who was lifeguarding me from the boardwalk. I didn’t want her to think I was doing anything wrong. She seemed to be OK so I forgot about the lifeguards and just enjoyed myself swimming and diving and floating in the water. And then I heard the lifeguard whistle. I stopped immediately to see who was being rescued and then I realized they were coming for me. I had to decide quickly what to do. Should I pretend to be in distress so the lifeguards wouldn’t think they were wasting their time? The lifeguards were now swimming toward me. I was treading water trying to make up my mind when the first guard reached me and said something like “little girl are you ok”? Aside from being taken aback at being called a “little girl” I was fine and hopeful that my grandmother had not been disturbed by the lifeguards thinking they needed to rescue me. Aside from giving me a a reprimand for swimming outside the ropes, the life guards were very nice and offered me a ride back to shore on one of their floats.

With the passage of time it is no longer necessary for me to actually be in the ocean to enjoy its many restorative aspects. My husband, our children and nineteen grandchildren are all competent and comfortable ocean lovers. It is so much fun to just watch them ride in the waves. I was never much good at that – my pleasure came from diving into the waves and ocean swimming.

In a few days we will close up our rented Florida condo and head to the auto train in Sanford Florida, two and a half hours away. We used to drive back and forth between Virginia and Florida but now this is no longer our preferred mode of transportation – a bowing to our body’s various protests against a fifteen and a half hour car trip. It is always fun chatting with fellow auto train passengers from such diverse places as Michigan, New England, Canada, etc. though it is a tad weird when they talk of the long trip that they have ahead of them when they leave the auto train in Lorton, Virginia for their final drive home. I never volunteer the length of our trip, twenty-five minutes.

We take the auto train on Wednesday. Today, Sunday, we went to Holy Family Church in the morning. I love the ethnic diversity of this church. On the drive back to our condo we made a couple of stops – hoping to to find a New York Times but knowing it was a lost cause. It used to be no problem but now either South Florida stores are just not ordering as many copies or the Times just has more customers. Now we are lounging on our deck soaking up the sights and smells of the ocean. Shortly we will go for an ocean walk, tomorrow we will golf, Tuesday we will pack, and Wednesday it is goodbye to our Florida winter.

Have enjoyed looking for the perfect quote that reflects my feelings about the ocean. There are just so many to chose from. I have decided to end with the words of Jacques Cousteau which so well describe my feelings: The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

Love this picture where I was also able to capture the water reflection of the roseate spoonbill

This is the first time in our many winter trips to Florida that we have rented a unit on the 10th floor. Usually we try for the third to fifth floors feeling that these floors offer the ocean view that we like best. Last Fall it seemed that health complications might keep us from spending some of the winter months in Florida. By the time complications got resolved and we knew we could go, the only unit available in one of the two condo buildings we were interested in, was on the tenth floor. Well the view is still spectacular – in a slightly different way – and the ocean birds flying by at our floor level are an unexpected treat.

There is so much to learn about Florida birds. Today we golfed at a nearby public course and were treated to the roseate spoonbill pictured above – so impressive, so exotic. It has such a majestic air in flight as it displays is bright pink and white plumage. As the Audubon website says the roseate spoonbill is “Gorgeous at a distance and bizarre up close“. Have found myself pondering the Audubon words – how often in life does something look good from a distance and disappoint on closer inspection.

The spoonbill is just one of the multitude of colorful birds we are seeing during our Florida stay. We frequently are treated to seagulls, pelicans, herons, ospreys, egrets – the list goes on ……..

I got turned on to a specific interest in birds during the 1990’s. Jerry and I were visiting Meg who had finished her commitment as a Jesuit volunteer in Portland Oregon and was now back in Portland teaching in high school. At her suggestion, one late afternoon, we took a picnic supper to the Chapman Elementary School in northwest Portland, joining hundreds of other folks who were already gathered. It was early Fall and birds were migrating to warmer climates as they prepared for winter. According to the Portland news program KGW, “for nearly four decades, thousands of (Vaux) swifts have come to Portland in September swarming the chimney of Chapman as they prepare to roost for the night.” The birds’ aerial display is truly awesome but so is their eventual funneling down into the chimney. According to the Portland Audubon Society, on Labor Day 2022, six thousand seven hundred and ninety swifts were counted funneling into the Chapman chimney to spend the night. The incredible swift display that we witnessed with Meg was definitely a catalyst for my bird interest. That interest is now maintained by the variety of bird traffic we experience at our three backyard feeders at home.

Jerry and I are very conscious of nature’s offerings when we are on our home turf. And it gives us much pleasure to explore Florida’s offerings. When our cousins Liane and Ron were visiting we visited the Florida Oceanographic Institute in Stuart. I saw my first sea horse. He was less than an inch in size – so magnificent in his bodily detail and yet so small in size.

Another day we had a great tour of the Jupiter lighthouse and museum. Can’t remember why the 105 lighthouse stairs were closed for public climbing but my left, sometimes achy, knee was grateful that I did not have to deal with the temptation to give it a try. We had an amazing tour guide who in addition to being knowledgable of the political history of the area was gifted in sharing her well informed background on its flora and fauna as she took us on a walking tour.

I am a big fan of the banyan tree. It is native to India but does very well in southern Florida. Its thick woody root system grows laterally eventually maturing into a trunk system that can cover a very wide area. Our guide showed us a favorite banyan backdrop spot for wedding ceremonies. It was simple and peaceful.

Another meaningful outing we had with Liane and Ron was our visit to the Elliott Museum where they were featuring the works of Norman Rockwell. I find his work to be so reflective of American culture. It was fun looking at the various picture with Liane and sharing our favorites.

Last week our friends Janet and Jerry invited us to join them on a hike with the Adventure Club from their church. The destination was the Mc Carthy Ranch Preserve in Port St Lucie. Though it covers 3,107 acres the groups ‘goal was two hours of hiking followed by a fun lunch. We were cautioned to be on the lookout for snakes and boars and the one alligator who had been spotted in one of the lakes. It was a great walk but no animal life put in an appearance.

I could never live in Florida permanently but it is a fun place to visit. Also we have thoroughly enjoyed the friends we have made here, plus the family and friends who have visited us during our Florida stays. Now due to aging and ill health , those numbers have greatly decreased.

As an avowed political junkie I have a hard time with Florida’s present governor. Jerry and I had lunch recently with Nora and Art, Florida transplants from the Washington, DC area with whom we share family and similar political interests. We met after Ash Wednesday mass at a church of their selection near where they have a condo in Jupiter. The twelve o’clock mass was crowded with our contemporaries. As we stood outside afterward waiting for our friends, Jerry pointed out a nearby crucifixion statue which had been donated Perry Como and his wife. I was very touched having been a childhood Perry Como fan. We learned that he and his wife had been parishioners of this church.

We moved into our suburban Virginia home almost thirty three years. At that time we were one of the younger couples in the community. Now we are one of the oldest couples.The elementary school that serves our community is outstanding and a big draw for young families. But all ages are well represented. We like it that way. Condo life in Florida is weighted toward the older population, except when children and grandchildren come to visit.

When we first came to Florida it was not that important to us to rent right on the ocean – it was the weather, the golf, the flora and fauna. Now being on the ocean and experiencing the various moods of the ocean we just love it. The ocean is like life – sometimes it is calm and peaceful and sometimes it is wild. I like to reflect on these words of Buddha:

“If you wish to know the divine, feel the wind on your face and the warm sun on your hand.”

In December 1976 our five children ranged in age from fourteen down to age nine. Santa believers were a thing of the past and that was okey. It is challenging to mix the fantasy of Santa with the spiritual and family and friend meaning of this special time.

We have always wanted our Christmas tree to showcase ornament decorations that had special meaning. In 1976 we decided to have each of the children decorate one of the points of a cardboard star that we put together. Since that time the star has adorned the top of our annual tree. Forty-six years later the star has lost some of its crispness but none the memory joy that it invokes. It used to be the pinnacle of our floor reaching to ceiling Christmas trees, now it just as importantly adorns our table top trees. Tree size has been reduced because we are no longer capable of the logistics of a big tree.

Christmas week 2022 has been particularly joyful as most of our children and grandchildren have been able to join us in person. Those grandchildren who could not be with us were present in our thoughts and hearts. For Christmas dinner we were twenty -eight in number. This could have been overwhelming but not so.

Lilly(granddaughter) and I did the basic shopping which has been a tradition of the last many years. Usually Annie(granddaughter) is with us. But this year she is working in Madrid in a teaching job where she is employed by the Spanish government. We decided to FaceTime Annie during our coffee shopping break. That was so much fun! Electronics can be annoying but they can also be amazing. We had such a clear and wonderful conversation with Annie in Madrid. This was electronics at its best.

When we continued with our shopping I put the phone in my pocket. As my phone is want to do, it decided to make another Face Time call. Coming from my pocket I heard some FT noises and pulled out the phone and there was grandson Alec in Charlottesville, Virginia. An unexpected treat that made Lilly and me very happy.

Our Christmas day celebration started with some pretty amazing caroling. It was a good mix of religious and secular songs sung with gusto and enthusiasm.

Christmas dinner was so yummy. It was truly a team effort with each family preparing part of the dinner menu. The cousin gift exchange was very thoughtful and the white elephant exchange was perhaps tamer than usual but it had its moments of gift theft which added to the fun,

It was an honor to have Emily(granddaughter) and her husband David spend their first married Christmas with us. I so clearly remember preparing for Jerry’s and my first married Christmas. I wanted our Christmas decorations to have special meaning and wanted the first ornament that we purchased to be a memory treasure. We were married the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 1960. With honeymoon and work and writing thank you notes for wedding gifts, we were well into December before we could give time to Christmas decorating. It meant a lot to me that we get the right first ornament. We settled on a three inch long cloth angel wearing wearing a soft pink dress, with gold trimmed wings and a sweet expression on her face. After all these years she is now kind of falling apart as she adorns our advent wreath but is truly a memory treasure.

The next days of Christmas week were filled with time together as we prepared for the engagement party we were co -hosting with our son Jerry, for Jeremy( grandson) and Amy. We are so happy for Amy and Jeremy. As I have said before one of my most favorite prayer requests is that each of our nineteen beloved grandchildren find the right life partner. It was so special to co- host this party for Amy and Jeremy and to meet their friends and to meet Amy’s parents.

NewYears Day we joined with our local families for another team approach dinner. From Lilly’s amazing spanakopita and yogurt sauce to Jim’s grilled chicken, it was a culinary feast. We had such fun sharing New Years resolutions and it was very humorous when the question was asked if your life story was made into a movie who would you pick for the staring role.

New Years and its focus on new beginnings is a very thought provoking time. I like to reflect on the powerful words of Desmond Tutu: Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put all together that overwhelm the world.