WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN !!!

Starting with the precious family pictured above, Jerry and I have so much to be thankful for.

In our seventies is when we first talked about downsizing. We knew that as we aged it was a step we needed to take but for us the seventies were too early for such a move. And besides how would we ever be able to host large family gatherings. In our late eighties we knew we couldn’t put off the move much longer, so we went condo looking and checking out continuing care communities. We quickly ruled out the continuing care communities – maybe at some later time one would be right for us, but not now. With two of our precious families in Falls Church it was a no brainer to make that location the focus of our condo looking.

We decided to go into an apartment till our wonderful home sold. But that happened in three days and seven plus months later we are still apartment dwellers. This building, West Broad , has so many inviting features plus a friendly and competent staff. How to host large family gatherings is not an issue at West Broad. There is a warm and inviting community room which can be rented. We had tweny-five for Christmas dinner and the setting was perfect for socializing, eating and singing. And about the same number at Thanksgiving. An added joy at Thanksgiving time was the celebration of our sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. Thanks to the thoughtfulness and love of our children and grandchildren it was a perfect celebration.

What stands out about this past year – there are so many answers to that question. Being geographically close to two of our children and their families, and watching all the grandchildren grow up has been a particular joy. The thoughfulness and caring of our three families who don’t live close by, but who take time to visit is a special gift. We love honoring all our children and grandchildren and their birthdays, and gifting them, and telephoning them if we are not going to be together to sing the birthday song. We laud the school choices the grandchildren have made and their job decisions.

I wondered when we moved in May if it would be the end of my lectoring at morning mass. So up till that time I especially savored the lectoring experience. When we first moved to Falls Church we attended the local Catholic church. It was a prayerful but conservative experience. We did not feel the warmth of St. John Neumann – the parish we had been part of for so many years. After some research we decided to give Our Lady Queen of Peace in South Arlington a try and felt an immediate connection. I am not lectoring any more but this church with its diversity, its enthusiasm, its music, its projection of caring, is ideal for us.

When we lived on Tolman Road we spent a fair amount of time on the golf course. When we moved we decided to give up our thirty- five year membership at International Country Club. As much as we enjoyed ICC we were only playing nine holes of golf two to three times a week. And the original ICC (now Jefferson Park) was only about ten minutes from our new home. It is a very comfortable and interesting nine hole course. Why pay for membership in an eighteen course when we were now only playing nine holes at a time?

This past year we have continued playing weekly, online bridge with our friends of about ten years, Janet and Jerry who live in Florida .We are pretty evenly matched and the quality of the bridge is challenging .

We are also challenged by our book group with Bob and Dot- friends of more than sixty five years – that meets about every five weeks. This is an on line gathering since Bob and Dot live in North Carolina. We take turns choosing the book to be read and the discussion is very stimulating.

This past year has been a meaningful challenge, but well worth all the challenges of downsizing. We are forging new memories and working at finding joy in this new life stage. As the French author Jules Renard said, ” It is not how old you are, but how you are old.”

NOVEMBER CELEBRATIONS

65 years ago

November has always been a special month for me. Growing up it meant that we would be getting together with extended family to celebrate Thanksgiving. We alternated years with my father’s family and with my mother’s family. The family that we didn’t see at Thanksgiving we spent Christmas with. Both times were equally special.

November is a time of important birthdays. First there was my father’s on the 19th. And then came my cousin Jim’s, my cousin Kathy’s and with the passage of time our beloved daughter Meg, our niece Patty, and grandchildren Graham, Elsa and Quinn. And then there is our wedding anniversary on November 26 and Pete and Lou’s on the 28th. Lots of celebrating going on.

Jerry and I met on March 5 of 1960. I have said before that I am a great believer in novenas. At that time I was making a novena ( 9 days of special prayer) that if one of the fellows I was dating was Mr. Right that I would see the light. I had decided to attend daily mass as part of the novena. On Saturday, March 5 I set the alarm for a little after 8 am so I could make the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, the local parish that my roommates and I attended in Georgetown. It didn’t have any later mass on Saturdays. When the alarm went off I was still so sleepy that I reset it for eleven figuring that some neighboring parish must have a noon mass. When I awoke at eleven I called the neighboring churches and found that St, Matthews Cathedral had the twelve o’clock mass I was looking for. I had never been to that church before but was confident I would find my way. It was not the easy find I expected, there had been a heavy snowfall and the roads were not in the best condition. When I finally arrived at St Matthews parking was an issue because of the snowfall. Then I noticed a blue Volkswagen going up the driveway next to the church. I figured the driveway must have been an entry to parking behind the church. So up I went but then my car slid right back down. I tried again with the same sliding back down the hill result. By this time the driver of the blue Volkswagen had parked his car and was standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding performance. Finally he came over and asked if he could help. I moved out of the drivers seat, he climbed in, we exchanged introductions and smoothly up the hill we went and easily into a parking place. We went into mass, sat together and the rest is history.

We were married on November 26 of 1960 and this year we celebrated our 65th wedding anniversary, The anniversary festivities actually took place on Thanksgiving day. We had reserved the community room of our new apartment home for our family gathering. There were 23 in attendance. Our apartment home is lovely but the max it holds for this type of gathering is about 15. It was a yummy pot luck traditional Thanksgiving dinner followed by special singing performances which the children had organized.

When I was a young teen and finally realized that I really was not very musical I used to pray that if God wanted to perform a very dramatic miracle He would suddenly make me musical. Well that never happened but God did give me a very special gift – a musical husband and five very musical children. And now we have eighteen grandchildren and each one of them is musical. The musical performances on Thanksgiving Day were a very special gift to celebrate our anniversary. I have a problem with tearing up at happy times and our anniversary celebrtion brought out the happy tears big time. Mixed in with the performances of our children they had Jerry and me dance – something we both love to do.

We are truly blessed!!!

OCTOBER TIME

Our beloved Uncle Bud

October is the birthday month for so many special people in my life – my brother Bud ( also known as Father Joe); our oldest grandchild, Emily and her husband David; our grandson Josh; my godson, Brian; Maura ‘s mother-in-law, Betty; our dear friend Dot Peters; and our daughter-in-law Teresa. All these incredible folks have played such an important part in my life but I want to start off this blog by focusing on my brother Bud.

From an early age Bud felt a calling to the priesthood. And fairly soon after he graduated from St Francis Xavier High School- where my brother Pete also went- a Jesuit school in Manhattan – he left home to join the Jesuits and begin the long process toward ordination. The morning he left he had to catch a very early bus. It was such an early bus that we said our goodbyes the night before. I was still asleep when he left and did not realize his plan was to give me his high school ring. He came into my bedroom before he left and slid the ring on my finger. I was overcome when I found the ring on my finger when I awoke and always cherished Bud’s gift.

As he progressed in his studies Bud was in the seminary in Pennsylvania and New York. He also spent several years in Latin America. His final job was as a chaplain at Gonzaga High school in Washington DC.

When I graduated from Cornell’s nursing school and came to Washington to work as a public health nurse for Arlington County, it was an easy move for me. I liked the girls I was living with and moreover, my priestly brother and my brother Pete and his bride were near by.

When I met Jerry I was so proud introducing him to my brothers. And when Jerry and I got engaged and were planning our wedding I wished the Jesuit road to ordination was not so lengthy because it would have been very special to have Bud officiate at our weddeing. But at least he was able to be on the altar. Our ceremony was officiated by the Catholic chaplain from Cornell who had become a good friend during my student nurse days.

Jerry and I have lived in thee different houses in our married life and three different apartments – the apartment we are in now being number three. The first house was in Kensington, Maryland where four of our children were born. At that time Bud was working in Latin America. Georgetown Prep invited us to use their ham radio setup to talk with Bud. Though we would write and use our own phone to stay in touch, the Georgetown set up was the best.

When Bud was back and working in southen Virginia it was easy to scoot down Route 301 to visit him and he was a frequent visitor to our second home which was in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. We lived there for twenty plus years. Home number three was in Fairfax, Virginia and it was our home for thirty-five years.. Such a blessing to have Bud’s home masses, to have him be part of weddings, baptisms and First Communions.

Bud was and is muchly loved. When he died on March 2 of 2016 we were moved by the many people who shared their love of him and their sorrow at his passing. I was very touched this year to get messages from our children on October 24. ” Happy Bud’s Birthday”. It was hard to accept when he died. I miss him.

And now Jerry and I are again experiencing apartment living and we are starting to feel more and more at home in our new abode. But it certaiinly has been an adjustment. The apartment management with its various activities is very skilled at promoting a sense of community among the tenants. About once a month there is some fun gathering. October’s activity was a early Halloween Party. It was lots of fun.

An unexpected pleasure of our apartment building is the very big and well maintained exercise room. This is nothing I ever had on my list of “needs to have ” when we started looking for the home we were going to downsize into but it’s great. We cerainly get our money’s worth from it as we strive to stay in shape. And we thoroughly enjoy the diversity and the friendliness of our fellow tennants. There is such a good mix of age and ethnicity and no one age dominates. And best of all, two of our precious children and their families live near by.

October golf weather can be ideal or it can be a pointed reminder that cold weather is on its way. We try to golf several times a week. October is a mix of beautiful days and cold weather reminder days. Last time we golfed neither Jerry or I was pleased with our games. As I have said many times before golf is a very humbling game. Just when you think you have mastered its idiosyncrasies it lets you know who is boss.

Meg and the boys came from Media on Saturday, the 19th. They joined us for the gala that is sponsored by LSNV ( Legal Services of Northern Virginia), the amazing organization that Jim heads. This gala is a once a year fundraiser and Jerry and I always feel so proud of the work done by Jim and his organization. All family members who could attended the gala.

The next day we golfed with Brian and Liam – before they headed back home with Meg to Pennsylvania. Brian is a very good golfer and Liam, more and more, is showing the potential to be very competent at this amazing and frustrating and very fun sport.

Today is Sunday. We attended mass at our Lady Queen of Peace. Feeling grateful to have found a parish we like as much as St John Neumann, our church home of about thirty years when we lived on Tolman Road, That was followed by scrabble and a yummy dinner with Maura, Jim and Lisa and Josh. Paul is in Argentina on business.

We are so blessed in our family!!!

Beach Time and Birthday Time

The birthday men being honored♥️♥️♥️

Jim and Lisa kicked off Jerry and Jimmy’s birthday celebrations this year with such a fun gathering at their home that featured hitting plastic golf balls in the backyard, and best of all, playing a trivia game on Jerry’s life that had been put together by Jim.. There was also a yummy dinner and a mouth watering chocolate pie created by Jimmy.

When Jimmy Ferguson was born on Grandpa Jerry’s birthday August 26,1999 he was a very loved birthday gift. And down through the years it has always been so special when we celebrate their joint birthdays.

Several days later we headed to Ocean Grove for six glorious days at Jerry(son) and Teresa’s lovely home on the Jersey shore where we again honored Jerry(grandpa’s) 90th birthday. This number is a very special birthday and it was honored lovingly. I have also always liked that Jerry’s birthday is August 26. Mine is April 26. And our wedding anniversary is November 26. You can understand why the the number 26 is a favorite.

The Jerry birthday celebrations ended with our days in Ocean Grove and a special dinner where the birthday questions were again featured. This was followed by an intense and very fun game of charades.

I love the way our children and grandchildren and extended family focused on birthday activities and messages that reflected Jerry and what he likes. The thousand piece puzzle from the MacCurtins occupied our last days in Ocean Grove. Such fun to do and when we left the puzzle was more than ninety percent complete.

It was a blessing to do our birthday traveling with Maura and Paul. It was a blessing to celebrate with Joe and the precious grandchildren who were able to be in person at the celebrations. It was a blessing to get calls and messages from those who couldn’t be with us in person. Jerry and I are truly blessed in our family and in our friends.

Mid summer we were also on the Jersey shore for our family beach week. When the children were small our ocean time was focused on places on the Maryland and Deleware shore and for years we owned a condo in Bethany Beach, Deleware. As the children got older and more focused on wave riding we began a search for the perfect beach for wave riding. One year, after Jerry participated in a sprint triathlon on the Maryland shore, we traveled North up the shore line till we reached lower Jersey. We tested various beaches for their suitability for a family of enthusiastic and fearless wave riders. We struck gold in lower Jersey – lots of places where we liked what the beaches had to offer. Over the years we have tested various Jersey spots and now our most favorites are Diamond Beach and Ocean Grove.

Final thoughts : reflecting on the happy times of these past weeks may we always keep our focus on appreciating life’s joys.

TIME FLIES

It has been over two months now since we moved into our new apartment home. We love it but it sure is a big adjustment to go from our lovely four bedroom home of thirty five years to a two bedroom apartment. We have always run a pretty organized household so I thought moving would be no big deal. I was so wrong!!!

View from our balcony

An example of the decisions to be made: our previous home with its many rooms had lots of wall space and we, over the thirty five years we lived there, covered the walls with meaningful photos and memorabilia. As our son-in-law Paul said we had to go from several hundred wall hangings( a slight exaggeration) to maybe twenty five. It has been a tough downsize and an emotional reliving of all the memories that the wall hangings represented.

It has been a bit hard for me to refer to our new home as our home. The word” home” conjurs up memories and in a new abode there are no memories to call upon. Initially I was feeling a bit like we were staying in a vacation residence that has lots of fun activities with its well equipped exercise room, and swimming pool. Gradually we are settling into our new home. I was very pleased when recently I was out for coffee with a dear friend when before I knew it an hour had passed. I told my friend that I had to head home, that a repairman was coming for a mal functioning wall light. I thought it was such a good sign that the word ” home” seemed to flow from me with such ease. We were truly starting to settle in to our new abode.

When we first moved to our apartment our thought was that we would stay here till our house sold and then we would purchase a condo in Falls Church putting us close to our two children and their families who lived in Falls Church. The sale happened so quickly we had no thought of moving on. The nice neighbors with their mix of age and ethnicity is very appealing as are the exercise facilities and the warm and cozy gathering areas. The fact that it is getting so easy to call our new apartment home is another sign of the rightness of this move.

An unexpected treat is having a good grocery store just an elevator ride away. This is an amenity that I never gave any thought to but we sure are enjoying the convenience.

This past Sunday we attended church at Our Lady Queen of Peace in south Arlington – about a 25 minute drive away. We have been attending different churches trying to find our new church home. This is a tough job since the church we came from, St.John Neumann, was so warm and welcoming – our standards are high. We have over the years been to services at Our Lady Queen of Peace. We went there with various friends. Jack Donohue’s funeral was there. It has the warmth and the diversity that are so important to Jerry and me but from our home on Tolman Road it was a tad far and anyway we were very happy at St John Neumann. Now the distance is less and we are seriously thinking of making it our parish home.

Last Saturday, Fr Don, from St John Neumann, came for dinner. A special treat was that he asked if he could bless our new home. There was no nicer gift that he could have given us.

Tomorrow we head to Diamond Beach , New Jersey for our family beach week. There will be at least twenty four in attendance. We are truly blessed.

SELLING OUR HOME OF 35 YEARS

We have now been in our new apartment home for more than three weeks. It is quite a change from our beautiful four bedroom home of the last thirty five years. For the last maybe ten years we have talked about downsizing but since we were quite happy in our home we didn’t think there was any rush and then suddenly we were well into our eighties and downsizing seemed like it was time. About six months ago I had another attack of acute A fib again taking me to the emergency room to get my heart rhythm under control. It took me a little longer to bounce back from this episode. For the first time I felt strongly that we could no longer put off downsizing and Jerry agreed.

We checked out two Continuing Care communities. One of them had no independent living but said that they took residents who qualified for independent living and grouped them with those who needed assisted living care. It was not an appealing concept. As a young teen I frequently wished I was older. At various times in my young life I have wanted to be older. As I have gotten older I have always savored the life stage I was in and have never wished to speed it up. A continuing Care community that had no independent living was never an option for us. We considered purchasing a condo in Falls Church. And finally we settled on renting an apartment in Falls Church that put us close to to Maura and Paul and Jim and Lisa and their precious families.

On May 9 we moved out of our home of thirty five years and turned it over to Amy – our real estate agent and the various stagers she uses in selling a home. It officially went on the market May 30. Three days later we learned from Amy that there was a lot of interest and that the house had sold. The buyers wrote us a letter saying how much they loved the house stating that “they understand the emotional weight of selling a home and they don’t take that lightly. Your home wouldn’t just be property to us, it would be a place we would treasure”. I cried and couldn’t read any more. Jerry finished the reading . Selling a beloved home is difficult. It is an answer to prayer that we have such caring new owners.

DOWNSIZING

What does it mean to downsize? In Jerry’s and my case it means to leave our beautiful, memory filled four bedroom home of the last thirty- five years and move to a two bedroom , two bath apartment in the city of Falls Church where we will be near two of our five children and their amazing families. This has been for us a home of weddings, births of grandchildren, entertaining extended family and friends, being active in our community, and participating in our parish church.

Church is very important to us and for the first few years after moving here we tried various local parishes never quite feeling like we had found our new spiritual home. We even checked in with the diocesan office to see what geographically they were recommending be our parish church. This turned out to be a very conservative church which was okay but not very inspiring. Finally one of our neighbors asked if we had visited St. John Neumann in Reston. We felt instantly at home. This is a church which practices and truly lives up to the concept: ” All are welcome.” We will miss St. John Neumann when we move. We are grateful for the services and activities we have participated in, for the friends we have made. We appreciate the assurance of one of our parish priests who promises he will find his way to Falls Church to maintain our friendship.

Our present house is only a five minute drive from International Country Club which we have belonged to for the last thirty-five years and where we have spent many happy and sometimes frustrating hours honing our golf skills. Golf is a sport that both Jerry and I enjoy and we are fortunate that as we approach our nineties we are still able to play. We only play nine holes at a time now but do play two to three times a week. When we move to Falls Church we will give up our club membership and play at a very convenient public course-Jefferson Park . In an unusual twist Jefferson Park was the original International Country Club. In the late 1960’s Fairfax County bought the Falls Church International Country Club from its members in exchange for the Fairfax County land the present club resides on plus a considerable sum of money. It was a very good deal for the club and for Fairfax County. Jefferson Park which is a well used public course is only a short drive from our new apartment home.

These past few weeks have been full of emotional happenings. We will be moving into our new abode – back to apartment living – on May 10. When we were first married we lived in an apartment in Arlington, Virginia. It allowed me to continue my job as a public health nurse for Arlington County. I loved my job but when I got pregnant and had some days in those first three months when I really wasn’t feeling well, Jerry suggested I step back from work and we move to Maryland. He was working at the Patent Office during the day and going to Catholic University’s law school four nights a week. Living in Maryland, in the Bethesda area, would be much more convenient for him as he juggled work and night law school. And so when our lease was up we found the perfect apartment in Bethesda. Part of the charm of this location was that my brother Pete and his wife Louise were in an apartment building right across the street from where we settled. It was so much fun having them close by.

Our first born, Jerry – named after his father – was born in the Bethesda apartment. When that lease was up we bought our first home, a small three bedroom rambler, in Kensington, Maryland . In the next four years this home was the birthplace of Maura, Joe , Jim and Meg. It was a wonderful house but as the children got bigger, the house got smaller. We started looking for a bigger home and when Meg was about two we bought a new and bigger home in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. It was the home from where the children attended grade school, high school and college.

And then we moved to Virginia to our present home where as I said in starting this blog , we have lived for the past thirty -five . years. It was much more convenient to Jerry’s office. It will be hard to leave this house of such powerful memories but as we approach our nineties, it is time. We are excited to be in Falls Church where two of our married children live . We will be walking distance to the library, to the Community Center, and the Senior Center which offer a number of activities, to a lovely park, to a very fun Farmers’ Market, to some yummy restaurants. And the list goes on.

As we prepare for the big move, Jerry and I like reflecting on the words of an unknown sage, ” You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

MARCH HAPPINESS

Most people are familiar with the term March Madness and all its basketball implications. For the first round of this year’s March Madness tournament Jerry and I were at the top of the leader board in a pool run by our nephew Peter. We fully realized that all our basketball happiness could change in a minute if our picks didn’t continue to win and such was the case when the University of Maryland – the team that we picked to win the championship , Jerry’s alma mater – lost. Now I want to focus on a different kind of happiness.

March has always been a special month for me. Growing up on Long Island, New York in a four weather season climate, March was a favorite month as it ushered in the warmth of Spring and gave a hint of the flowering trees and plants to come. March weather can have the roar of lion or the calm of a lamb.

Last Thursday was a lamb kind of day – absolutely beautiful, the kind of the day you want to spend outdoors. Jerry and I golfed. It is a blessing that we have this fun activity that we enjoy doing together. When we were younger marrieds I also golfed with a Ladies group and Jerry had a regular Men’s group. Now sometimes we are joined by family members or if we are golfing at our own club, other members will join us. Since we golf two to three times a week we may hold the distinction of being the oldest active golfers in our club. This is a kind of strange distinction that we are still trying to process.

March happenings that have led to March Happiness: In January 1955 when I graduated from high school my academic plan was college to be followed by law school. That was the educational path of my mother and her identical twin sister and it seemed like a good one to me.

March 4 to March 13 is the time of the Novena of Grace to St Francis Xavier. This was always a very powerful prayer time for my mother. I was saying this novena that I make the right career decisions and also attending mass as part of the novena. In March 1955 One day, during that novena period, I was on a crowded subway going into Marymount College. Since I couldn’t get a seat and perhaps do some extra reading for class, I started reading the subway ads to help pass the time. The ad that I kept coming back to was by the American Red Cross promoting their Home Nursing classes. I was intrigued and decided that was a class I would follow up on after law school graduation and passing the bar exam. Pretty soon my thoughts had evolved to wondering how much thought had actually gone into my law school decision. Should I rethink that decision. Within a matter of days and with some research, my thoughts turned to the BSN nursing program at Cornell- New York hospital. Sixty college credits were required for admission to that program. I could do that at Marymount in a year and a half and enter the Cornell program in September 1956. Decision made – I was now on my way to a profession I came to truly love.

But the biggest blessing that came to me from embracing the Novena of Grace was when I met my husband-to-be on March 5 of 1960.

I moved to Washington after graduation from Cornell taking an apartment with two other young gals, Genevive and Janet, who both had just graduated from Trinity College in Washington and who wanted to start their work life in the nation’s capitol. Gen worked in marketing and Janet got a job teaching. I had been hired by Arlington County, VA as a public health nurse. We lived in Glover Park right outside of Georgetown. Having grown up in Laurelton, Long Island which is part of New York City and having all my schooling in New York City schools – that includes Cornell’s nursing school which along with their medical school is also located in New York City – moving to Washington DC was a big deal for me. I was both scared and very excited. The scary part was eased somewhat by the fact that both my brothers lived in or not too far from DC.

My Jesuit brother Bud taught at Gonzaga High School and lived there in the Jesuit residence . My brother Pete and his bride lived in Northern Virginia. It was a pretty ideal situation for me. I liked the friends I was living with and my brothers and new sister-in-law were close by.

On Saturday, March 5 of 1960, as part of that year’s Novena of Grace , I was planning on attending mass at Holy Trinity in Georgetown. I needed spiritual guidance about my dating life. Holy Trinity was the parish serving Glover Park where we lived. The night before my roomates and I were out rather late with friends. When the alarm went off at 8am – so I could get to the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, I was so so tired. It had been a very busy week at work. I reset the alarm for 11 o’clock and went back to sleep. Though I didn’t know the mass schedules of other churches I was sure I could find one that had a Saturday mass later than Holy Trinity’s 9am. Waking up at 11 I got phone busy right away. After a few phone calls I learned that St Matthew’s Cathedral had a 12 o’clock . I quickly dressed and was on my way – with my DC map since I had never been to St. Matthew’s. When I finally found the church I was a bit taken aback that in order to reach the church parking I had to go up a hill that was still showing the snow effects of the previous day’s storm. I saw a blue Volkswagen drive the snow covered hill with no problem. So up I started and slid back down. I tried again with the same results. By this time the driver of the blue Volks had parked his car and was now standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding episodes. Finally he called out, ” Can I help”. I had been taught as a child in New York not to talk to strangers. But this stranger was so appealing. I moved over, he climbed in and up the hill we went. We then attended mass together and when he walked me back to my car and asked for my phone number, I was pretty excited. I didn’t tell him but he had to call by Tuesday if he wanted to go out the next weekend. My roomates and I had pretty active social lives. After Tuesday I would probably have plans. Around 7:30 on Tuesday evening the phone rang. It was the call I had been hoping and praying for.

Jerry and I were engaged in June 1960 and married the following November. We first were planning to be married in June of 1961 and then we moved the date to February of 1961. That was the date we gave my parents. About two weeks later we gave them another call and said we would like to get married sooner, like on November 26 of 1960. I was concerned that my parents would think we were moving too quickly and was surprised that there was almost a tone of relief in their voices. And then my father shared that he had checked our February date with the Farmers’ Almanac. It forcasted a major snowstorm for Long Island. They were trying to decide what they should do when we called with the change of date. They were so relieved. As it turned out the Almanac was right – the major snow storm materalized.

I am a strong believer in the power of prayer. On November 26, 2025 Jerry and I will celebrate our 65th wedding anniuversary.

PHASES OF LIFE

Jerry and I are in a new phase of life. We can now be referred to as elderly. Seems strange since we don’t feel elderly. But according to Google we are now in the third of the three life-stage sub groups of old age, the old-old group whose members are over 85. It is a bit of a shock since it all happened so quickly.

As a child I was a tomboy – a very easy path to follow since I had two brothers and I liked doing things with them. Doll playing was only an occasaional activity for me. I liked climbing trees and running races. When my brothers went off to high school they were both “big deals” on their high school track team. My all girls high school did not offer track which I would have liked. But maybe I would not have had time for track because my high school offered so many fun activities . The first time I landed a leading part in one of the school plays I knew I had found my favorite activity.

By high school time I had moved out of the tomboy phase of life and was investigating things feminine and I was starting to learn about boys and coming to terms with the difference between boys who were friends and a boyfriend. With two older brothers there were always a lot of boys in my life but this boyfriend concept was different.

My all girls high school, Mary Louis Academy, sponsored activities that included boys from various local all boy schools. There were some very well attended dances at Mary Louis where in an attempt to promote boy/girl mingling, the girls were directed to take off a shoe and place it in the middle of the gym floor where all dances were held. Boys were then told to pick up a shoe, find the girl owner, and dance with her.

By the time I was in 6th grade of grammar school I was 5 feet 6 inches tall and wore a size 10 shoe. Fortunately I stopped growing at that point but having reached a size 10 shoe by the 6th grade I was a bit self conscious about my shoe size. My friend Gracie probably wore a size 4. Fast forward to the high school dances and the Cinderella approach to promoting mixed couple dancing was a real turnoff for me. Also the shoes I wore were sturdy, sensible shoes – not exactly the kind to attract interest from the opposite sex.

I remember one of these dances where my shoe was actually picked by a nice guy who had come to the dance with several of his friends. At the end of the evening when he offered to take me home I accepted. None of my friends who were at the dance lived in my neighborhood. My father was going to come and pick me up – going home with this fellow would save Pop the trip. When the dance was over and we were heading out to my new friend’s car I learned that we were actually going in the car of one of my dance partner’s friends. It turned out that the friend was a very fast driver. I was not used to fast drivers and I was nervous and distracted from the fun chit chat I was having with my new friend. I started praying – at first silently and then verbally. They got me home safely. I never heard from my new friend again.

Heading off to college just a few days after my high school graduation, I was glad when I learned New York State was closing down winter school starts and that in the future, fall would be the starting date for all students – no matter when your birthday. The wrap up of one phase of schooling and advancement to the next needed to be properly celebrated and not just squeezed in, in the few days marking the end of one phase and the beginning of the next. |

A highlight of senior year was the Prom. Seventh term and eighth term seniors had a combined Prom. Each term voted for members of the Prom committee. I was honored when my eighth term classmates voted for me to be on the committee and further honored when the members from my class nominated me to be the Prom Chairwoman. I lost that position by one vote and became the co-chair. It was such a powerful learning for me when the nun who was the moderator of the prom committee, and my physics teacher, took me aside after the election and gave me a lecture on advocating for ones self. She said the student who won the spot had voted for herself and that was what I should have done. She said she could understand my reticence to vote for myself but that there were times in life when it was important to be comfortable with your strengths and to acknowledge them. It was a valuable lesson and one that I had never thought about.

With my fellow prom committee members, I enjoyed working on the mechanics of organizing our prom. It was traditionally held at the Hotel Pierre in New York City. I just Googled the hotel to see if it is still in existence and was pleased to learn that after all these years it has maintained its star studded status. While I found the work involved in setting up a prom for about two hundred young women and their dates to be very manageable and enjoyable, getting a date for myself was another matter. Some of my friends had actual boy friends so it was no problem for them. I was still more comfortable with boys who were friends than a boyfriend. So who to ask? I finally settled on David. He must have been going through the same decision making issues because he asked me to be his date for his prom. We had such fun at both events. There were no worries about trying to make a good impression.

Graduation was on I think – it was seventy years ago so I am not absolutely sure – a Sunday night with college beginning a few days later. It ws an honor to be one of the ten percernt of my graduating class to be chosen by classmates and faculty to wear the CLS blue and gold tassel on our graduation caps. CLS stood for Character, Loyalty and a Spirit of Study. It was an honor but one tthat quickly faded into the background with the start of college a few days later.

College was such an entirely different world than high school and I was ready. More about that in a future blog.

JANUARY MUSINGS

January is a time for New Years resolutions that help you to forward focus. As Jerry and I are getting older the desire to use my time in a meaningful way is very powerful. When I was younger I sometimes devoted too much time thinking of the talents I did not have. Getting older has helped me to realize what a waste it is to focus on the do not haves. It is a time to honestly assess your talents and abilities and to use them.

The talent that I would most like to have had is a musical ability. Hard to say when I first realized this lack. My parents were not musical nor were my brothers. When we were small we used to perform for company. And since the company – family or friends of my parents – always applauded enthusiastically that did not give us the reality check we needed for our musical abilities.

Great Aunt Mary thought we should have piano lessons and she offered to pay for them. I don’t think my brothers were interested but I was. My parents accepted Aunt Mary’s gift and off I went once a week to the lessons which were given by one of the nuns from the parochial school my brothers and I attended. I am not sure why but I became very enamored of the works of Stephen Foster. My favorite was “Oh ! Susanna”. I thought I played it well. As I reflect back now on my non-musical skills I shudder to think how I sounded.

Going from grade school to high school was perhaps not the big deal for me that it should have been, because within the week of finishing my grade school years I became a high school freshman. I have often talked about being in the last class of students who started their school experience in February. That was true for me in kindergarten, grade school, high school and college. Finally New York State closed down February admissions. Those who were in the February class kept that rotation but there were no more February beginning students. The small parochial school that I attended did not even have a graduation for the February graduates. You were expected to return in June to share a joint graduation with the June class. I told my friend Gracie who was in that June class that I would not be at the grade school graduation. It seemed silly to me to go back. I was already in High School. The teachers knew that Gracie and I were good friends and when I was not responding to graduation information they asked her what was up and she shared my thoughts. Gracie was told that I had to come because I was getting an award. When my parents heard that, a decision was made to attend the graduation.

It was hard not having the summer to adjust to new stages in my educational life. Having only a few days break between the various stages made the adjustment a little more complicated. Fortunately in college there was mandatory summer school at the end of that first semester which meant that by the time September rolled around I was officially a college sophmore. That year I completed the sixty credits needed for admission to the BSN program at Cornell and I was well on my way to the nursing career that I loved.

In the last summer of my high school years some college friends of my brother Pete were having a beach party. When Pete accepted the invite he was informed that the invitation also was extended to his sister. I was pretty excited. I had never been to a beach party. Pete who was familiar with this kind of gathering told me there would be a beach fire with food and lots of singing. Since by this time I was quite realistic about my musical skills I suddenly was not so sure about going to the party which was about two weeks off. Pete suggested that in the interim we listen to the radio program ” Your Hit Parade” and master the opening lines to some of the songs that would surely be sung at the party. Well we did exactly as Pete proposed and I still remember to this day how much fun the party was. Knowing the opening lines to various songs was key. I sang very softly so my off keyness would not be obvious and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Though I accepted my lack of musicality I used to pray that if God wanted to perform a pretty dramatic miracle He could make me musical. Well that did not happen but He did me one better. God gave me a musical husband and wonderfully musical children and grandchildren. I am truly blessed.

I find this quote from Victor Hugo very powerful: Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.