TIME FLIES

Before March became the month when Jerry and I first met, March was special for me because it was the month when we celebrated St Patrick’s day. Both my parents were of Irish heritage but Pop’s parents were actually ” off the boat” from Ireland so his positive feelings about St. Patty’s Day might have been a tad stronger than my mother’s. Though my father spoke perfect English he loved to switch to the Irish brogue when he thought it appropriate. Both my brothers and I inherited that gift. Guess I was pretty good at it bcause in high school when the Genesians – our school acting club – decided to make the big Spring play be about Irish life – I was happy to show off my brogue skills and was able to land a major role in the production.

My brothers all boys high school was St Francis Xavier Military Academy High School. When I first heard the long winded name of the school they were going to, I thought the name a bit pompus. But in the years the brothers were at Xavier I came to love their school choice. The school marched in the big New York City St. Patrick’s Day Parade. My all girls school , Mary Louis Academy, did not march. My parents and I would go into the City to see the parade and cheer the boys on. As I have said my brothers were two and four years older than me. I loved seeing them march down 5th Avenue and then getting together with them afterward. But I was boy shy around my brother’s friends, I was very conscious that I was the younger sister. With the passage of time both boys graduated from Xavier, Bud entering the Jesuit seminary and Pete heading off to Holy Cross College. On finishing Mary Louis I went on to Marymount College in New York City. I specify which Marymount I attended because there are other Marymounts but I think this is the only one specifically for day hops. This is the one I subwayed to for a year and a half to earn the sixty credits necessary for admission to Cornell University’s nursing program.

Mary Louis High School girls did not march in the St. Patrick’s parade but Marymount College girls did. Since I started Marymount in February I was there for two March 17ths and able to march in two parades. . There are St Patrick’s parades all over the United States. The New Yor City parade is probably the biggest and millions of people watch it.

I never saw the Xavier boys while marching for Marymount. Their location in the parade was just too far removed from the Marymount location. But when I was at Cornell – their nursing school and medical school are both in New York City – I had no classes on one parade day and was able to talk some of my classmates into joining me in walking over to 5th Avenue to watch the parade. It was so much fun and when I spotted the Xavier group about to pass by I was excited. I even felt some of the heart flutters that I used to feel when still in grade school. But now as I looked closely at the boys, I thought they were just children – some at least seven years younger than I who would soon be graduating from Cornell and starting my professsional career in nursing. These boys were just working their way through high school. It was so much fun to see them but that phase of my life was long over. I think that was one of the first times I truly focused on different life stages.

Wih graduation looming I think the nursing school did an excellent job of preparing us for job looking – the professional nursing job search was an entirely different life stage then any of my classmates or I had experienced before. All these years later I still remember one talk from the nursing school Dean which focused on the practical aspects of looking for the appropriate job, bearing in mind the learning experience and realistic capabilities which we, at that time, brought to the job market. She gave the example of being offered the deanship of a nursing school. We all laughed, at the thought of such an offer but her exaggeration for emphasis really hit home. The job market for nurses at that time was wide open. There were lots of possibilities out there and the Dean was just cautioning us to choose wisely. My nursing school rotation in public health had been a strong favorite for me. Having grown up in suburban New York Ciity and gone to school in New York City I thought it was time to expand my horizons. I took a job with the Arlington County, Virginia Health Department. Both my brothers were living in the DC area and one of my closest friends from high school, Gen, had gone to college there and she wanted to stay in that area as did one of her close college friends. We three decided to live together in Glover Park, right outside of Georgetown. This worked well for me because the drive from Glover Park to the health department office in Arlington was not bad – maybe twenty to thirty minutes depending on traffic.

I loved being a public health nurse. It offered so much variety from clinic nursing, to home nursing, to school nursing. The clinic nursing was an eye opener for me with its white well baby clinic, the black well baby clinic, and the white and black maternity clinics. This was segregation that I knew existed but had never experienced. Growing up on Long Island, if there was segregation, I was oblivious to it.

My father’s longest running teaching job was one that he transferred to when he and my mother moved to Laurelton. The public school was located in South Jamaica in a predominately black neighborhood. All my growing years, it is the only teaching job that I remember for him. Even though Pop and my Mother had started their fledgling law practice, the post depression years were tough on them. Pop did not feel that he could give up the financial security that teaching offered.

My parents were married in 1930 when the country was experiencing the after effects of the 1929 stock market crash. My parents had met at the Fordham University Law School, in the evening session. Both were putting themselves through school – as was Mom’s twin sister Marg-Pop, by being a public school teacher, and my mother by working at the Title Guarantee and Trust Company. My mother’s parents could have helped with the twins tuition however they were not excited with the path the twins had chosen. But ultimately they were very proud of their daughters.

My father never gave up the teaching profession and the financial security it offered. The post depresssion years were financially tough for my parents and their contemporaries. Pop and Mom had their own law practice but it took many years of hard work for them to make it profitable. My Mother ran the practice during the day while my father was pursuing his teaching job. For most of his teaching career my father taught in black schools. I never heard a word from him that suggested he had a racial bias. So when I was introduced to a public health system that had different clinics for the black and white population it was an adjustment. When various folks heard that I had accepted a job with the Arlington Health Department they were happy for me but told me there would have to be some racial adjustments on my part. With the Health Department color organized clinics I finally I got a glimpse of what they were talking about. I am and was inspired by the words of Desmond Tutu: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

And now we are in April. March passed by so quickly. This blog installment was actually finished about a week ago. But visits from precious family and good friends so occupied my time and thoughts that I doubted my ability to do a proper job of proof reading.


SNOW TIME

Thank you Meg for sharing this picture!

Up until February of this year it just didn’t feel like winter to me. Sure it was cold some days but not cold enough to keep Jerry and me off the golf course two to three times a week. Then came February with its two snow falls – both with amounts in the single digits. Golf was now of course out of the question but the snow certainly gave nature a chance to show off one of her special gifts of natural beauty. And it brought back so many memories from childhood.

It seems to me that in childhood from late November on, snow was a possibility. Our home in Laurelton, Long island shared a double driveway with our next door neighbors. It was great for sleigh riding. You could go from the driveway to the sidewalk and then on down the sidewalk. The driveway was part hill. When I was a new sleigh rider – not sure how old but pretty young – I thought the hill was intimidating. But my two and four years older than me brothers were doing it with no problem and I was determined to do it also. Eighty plus years later I still remember the thrill I felt on my first solo ride down that hill – scared but determined. It really was a life lesson for me – sometimes fears are to be paid attention to and sometimes they are to be overcome.

Our home in Laurelton was on 224th street. Two blocks away began the woods which separated us from Springfield Gardens, the next town over. The woods were well trafficked and contained a great hill for sleding. Once I conquered our driveway hill, the hill in the woods was next. It was a very popular spot with of course no vehicular traffic – a big plus. Coming down our driveway hill if you missed the turn on to sidewalk you ended up out in the road where you had to watch carefully for cars. It was not that busy a street but still cars were an issue that our parents warned us to be conscious of.

Jerry and I have lived in three houses in our married life. The first house on Morrell Court in Kensington, Maryland was a rambler – perfect for a young couple with a precious baby boy and the four more children who quickly followed. It had a big yard and plenty of room when the snow came for outside play and for making snow men. But inside the house, room was getting a little tight with five precious little people and as the children grew older, we decided it was time to move.

House number two was on Appleby Court in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. It was a great community in which to raise children and in a snowy winter provided many venues for sledding. We lived in the back of Appleby Court and the road sloped down from there. There was Pepco Hill near by named for the hilly expanse of land that held the wired towers providing electricity for the community. Pepco Hill had an amazing hill for sledding and our children and the neighborhood children put it to good use. It had a steep beginning slope and long runout afterwards. I still remember clearly a ride that I took, that went on and on and on , and I just loved it. Before we moved an older neighbor couple whose chiildren were grown, added to our sled collection giving us a large size Flexible Flyer that was well used in the sledding years to come.

We moved to our third home in Fairfax,Virginia in 1990. Home number one was where four of our children were born. ( Son Jerry arrived when we were still apartment dwellers.) Home number two saw the children pass from the baby years into their college years. And number three saw the finish of college time and ushered in first jobs and wedding bells. It was also where I started the Naomi Project – a mentoring program for high risk pregnant women. And it was the first and only time I went to Japan on a business trip with Jerry. Busy, busy wonderful years!!!

Sadly, these past years have seen a decrease in snow fall. When Jerry and I first met in 1960 it was on March 5th, the cold day after a major snowfall in the DC area. Looking at the forecast today for next week’s March 5th the forecast is for 71 degrees. Forecasts a week off are frequently not accurate but in no way is the weather going to drop to the cold temperature of 66 years ago.

For a number of years Jerry and I have gone to Florida for the months of January, February and March. Now we don’t do that anymore but when we did it was a mixed weather blessing for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the warmth of Florida, the friends we made, and the golf and beach time that were so accessible. But I also missed the snowy winters of the North.

Snow has always been very special for me. I feel communion with these words of Aristotle: To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake , it is necessary to stand out in the cold.

JANUARY 2026 REFLECTIONS

An Uncle Bud Christmas mass 2008

We took down our Christmas decorations about two weeks ago. They provide such happy memories that I am never in a rush to get them put away till next year. The little angel in the pink cloth dress that was the first Christmas decoration that Jerry and I purchased together, is looking a little dilapidated after 65 years of being paid special attention to at Christmas time. The little angel will always deserve its specialness.

We learned this year that downsizing includes downsizing your Christmas collection. Coming from a rather big house where we had some form of decoration for each room it quickly became obvious that we couldn’t display all our decorations. But that was not an easy decision when the majority of our decorations had ties to our children, our grandchildred and friends. We ended up with three large decoration filled trays and a basket that were artfully displayed around the apartment. Our smallish tree sat on a table by the living room window and it beautifully displayed some ornaments – but it could not showcase too many.

We have had two special nativity scenes down through the years. When first married we purchased a creche scene with about ten figures. We loved it and had no problem when the children wanted to play with the manger scene – after all the creche represented what Christmas was all about. Our reasoning was appropriate but unrealistic if we wanted the manger to survive the play of five small children. In the late 70’s my mother gifted us with a new manger scene. By that time the old creche was a bit battered and most of the figures had been decapitated. The children were now young teens and pre teens who honored the new creche and what it stood for – there were no more decapitations. This is the creche we lovingly still use today. Some of my most favorite Christmas memories are intertwined with the putting up of Christmas decorations and the taking down and reflection on the meaning of Christmas. When Santa belief holds sway it is easy to focus on “what am I going to get for Christmas”. That phase is lots of fun but the spiritual aspects have so much more meaning.

When Bud was ordained and able to spend Christmas with us he would say Mass. I have always found the Christmas celebrations at church to be very special but a Christmas home Mass led by my priestly brother was an amazing gift. For these masses the core group was our family, Pete and Louise and their girls, and our parents. Sometimes we were joined by extended family and friends.

And now it is mid January and that special time of prayer and anticipation and reflection has come to a close. We are excited for the New Year and what it offers. And with our large family, January is a another packed full birthdays month. A time when we honor Uncle Jim Murphy, Annie, Brendan, Brian, Jerry, Pete, Khushi, Charlie, Moira Eisele and John Connelly.

As a child I remember being glad my birthday wasn’t in January – like my brother Pete. I thought that sometimes he got “Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday” gifts. I took a pledge that when I was married and having babies I would never have a January baby. Well our first child was a January baby, but I don’t think Jerry ever felt his big day was short changed. It was such a gift when he was born.

We don’t know what the New Year will bring but we are excited to find out. I find so much meaning in these words of C.S. Lewis : You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN !!!

Starting with the precious family pictured above, Jerry and I have so much to be thankful for.

In our seventies is when we first talked about downsizing. We knew that as we aged it was a step we needed to take but for us the seventies were too early for such a move. And besides how would we ever be able to host large family gatherings. In our late eighties we knew we couldn’t put off the move much longer, so we went condo looking and checking out continuing care communities. We quickly ruled out the continuing care communities – maybe at some later time one would be right for us, but not now. With two of our precious families in Falls Church it was a no brainer to make that location the focus of our condo looking.

We decided to go into an apartment till our wonderful home sold. But that happened in three days and seven plus months later we are still apartment dwellers. This building, West Broad , has so many inviting features plus a friendly and competent staff. How to host large family gatherings is not an issue at West Broad. There is a warm and inviting community room which can be rented. We had tweny-five for Christmas dinner and the setting was perfect for socializing, eating and singing. And about the same number at Thanksgiving. An added joy at Thanksgiving time was the celebration of our sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. Thanks to the thoughtfulness and love of our children and grandchildren it was a perfect celebration.

What stands out about this past year – there are so many answers to that question. Being geographically close to two of our children and their families, and watching all the grandchildren grow up has been a particular joy. The thoughfulness and caring of our three families who don’t live close by, but who take time to visit is a special gift. We love honoring all our children and grandchildren and their birthdays, and gifting them, and telephoning them if we are not going to be together to sing the birthday song. We laud the school choices the grandchildren have made and their job decisions.

I wondered when we moved in May if it would be the end of my lectoring at morning mass. So up till that time I especially savored the lectoring experience. When we first moved to Falls Church we attended the local Catholic church. It was a prayerful but conservative experience. We did not feel the warmth of St. John Neumann – the parish we had been part of for so many years. After some research we decided to give Our Lady Queen of Peace in South Arlington a try and felt an immediate connection. I am not lectoring any more but this church with its diversity, its enthusiasm, its music, its projection of caring, is ideal for us.

When we lived on Tolman Road we spent a fair amount of time on the golf course. When we moved we decided to give up our thirty- five year membership at International Country Club. As much as we enjoyed ICC we were only playing nine holes of golf two to three times a week. And the original ICC (now Jefferson Park) was only about ten minutes from our new home. It is a very comfortable and interesting nine hole course. Why pay for membership in an eighteen course when we were now only playing nine holes at a time?

This past year we have continued playing weekly, online bridge with our friends of about ten years, Janet and Jerry who live in Florida .We are pretty evenly matched and the quality of the bridge is challenging .

We are also challenged by our book group with Bob and Dot- friends of more than sixty five years – that meets about every five weeks. This is an on line gathering since Bob and Dot live in North Carolina. We take turns choosing the book to be read and the discussion is very stimulating.

This past year has been a meaningful challenge, but well worth all the challenges of downsizing. We are forging new memories and working at finding joy in this new life stage. As the French author Jules Renard said, ” It is not how old you are, but how you are old.”

NOVEMBER CELEBRATIONS

65 years ago

November has always been a special month for me. Growing up it meant that we would be getting together with extended family to celebrate Thanksgiving. We alternated years with my father’s family and with my mother’s family. The family that we didn’t see at Thanksgiving we spent Christmas with. Both times were equally special.

November is a time of important birthdays. First there was my father’s on the 19th. And then came my cousin Jim’s, my cousin Kathy’s and with the passage of time our beloved daughter Meg, our niece Patty, and grandchildren Graham, Elsa and Quinn. And then there is our wedding anniversary on November 26 and Pete and Lou’s on the 28th. Lots of celebrating going on.

Jerry and I met on March 5 of 1960. I have said before that I am a great believer in novenas. At that time I was making a novena ( 9 days of special prayer) that if one of the fellows I was dating was Mr. Right that I would see the light. I had decided to attend daily mass as part of the novena. On Saturday, March 5 I set the alarm for a little after 8 am so I could make the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, the local parish that my roommates and I attended in Georgetown. It didn’t have any later mass on Saturdays. When the alarm went off I was still so sleepy that I reset it for eleven figuring that some neighboring parish must have a noon mass. When I awoke at eleven I called the neighboring churches and found that St, Matthews Cathedral had the twelve o’clock mass I was looking for. I had never been to that church before but was confident I would find my way. It was not the easy find I expected, there had been a heavy snowfall and the roads were not in the best condition. When I finally arrived at St Matthews parking was an issue because of the snowfall. Then I noticed a blue Volkswagen going up the driveway next to the church. I figured the driveway must have been an entry to parking behind the church. So up I went but then my car slid right back down. I tried again with the same sliding back down the hill result. By this time the driver of the blue Volkswagen had parked his car and was standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding performance. Finally he came over and asked if he could help. I moved out of the drivers seat, he climbed in, we exchanged introductions and smoothly up the hill we went and easily into a parking place. We went into mass, sat together and the rest is history.

We were married on November 26 of 1960 and this year we celebrated our 65th wedding anniversary, The anniversary festivities actually took place on Thanksgiving day. We had reserved the community room of our new apartment home for our family gathering. There were 23 in attendance. Our apartment home is lovely but the max it holds for this type of gathering is about 15. It was a yummy pot luck traditional Thanksgiving dinner followed by special singing performances which the children had organized.

When I was a young teen and finally realized that I really was not very musical I used to pray that if God wanted to perform a very dramatic miracle He would suddenly make me musical. Well that never happened but God did give me a very special gift – a musical husband and five very musical children. And now we have eighteen grandchildren and each one of them is musical. The musical performances on Thanksgiving Day were a very special gift to celebrate our anniversary. I have a problem with tearing up at happy times and our anniversary celebrtion brought out the happy tears big time. Mixed in with the performances of our children they had Jerry and me dance – something we both love to do.

We are truly blessed!!!

OCTOBER TIME

Our beloved Uncle Bud

October is the birthday month for so many special people in my life – my brother Bud ( also known as Father Joe); our oldest grandchild, Emily and her husband David; our grandson Josh; my godson, Brian; Maura ‘s mother-in-law, Betty; our dear friend Dot Peters; and our daughter-in-law Teresa. All these incredible folks have played such an important part in my life but I want to start off this blog by focusing on my brother Bud.

From an early age Bud felt a calling to the priesthood. And fairly soon after he graduated from St Francis Xavier High School- where my brother Pete also went- a Jesuit school in Manhattan – he left home to join the Jesuits and begin the long process toward ordination. The morning he left he had to catch a very early bus. It was such an early bus that we said our goodbyes the night before. I was still asleep when he left and did not realize his plan was to give me his high school ring. He came into my bedroom before he left and slid the ring on my finger. I was overcome when I found the ring on my finger when I awoke and always cherished Bud’s gift.

As he progressed in his studies Bud was in the seminary in Pennsylvania and New York. He also spent several years in Latin America. His final job was as a chaplain at Gonzaga High school in Washington DC.

When I graduated from Cornell’s nursing school and came to Washington to work as a public health nurse for Arlington County, it was an easy move for me. I liked the girls I was living with and moreover, my priestly brother and my brother Pete and his bride were near by.

When I met Jerry I was so proud introducing him to my brothers. And when Jerry and I got engaged and were planning our wedding I wished the Jesuit road to ordination was not so lengthy because it would have been very special to have Bud officiate at our weddeing. But at least he was able to be on the altar. Our ceremony was officiated by the Catholic chaplain from Cornell who had become a good friend during my student nurse days.

Jerry and I have lived in thee different houses in our married life and three different apartments – the apartment we are in now being number three. The first house was in Kensington, Maryland where four of our children were born. At that time Bud was working in Latin America. Georgetown Prep invited us to use their ham radio setup to talk with Bud. Though we would write and use our own phone to stay in touch, the Georgetown set up was the best.

When Bud was back and working in southen Virginia it was easy to scoot down Route 301 to visit him and he was a frequent visitor to our second home which was in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. We lived there for twenty plus years. Home number three was in Fairfax, Virginia and it was our home for thirty-five years.. Such a blessing to have Bud’s home masses, to have him be part of weddings, baptisms and First Communions.

Bud was and is muchly loved. When he died on March 2 of 2016 we were moved by the many people who shared their love of him and their sorrow at his passing. I was very touched this year to get messages from our children on October 24. ” Happy Bud’s Birthday”. It was hard to accept when he died. I miss him.

And now Jerry and I are again experiencing apartment living and we are starting to feel more and more at home in our new abode. But it certaiinly has been an adjustment. The apartment management with its various activities is very skilled at promoting a sense of community among the tenants. About once a month there is some fun gathering. October’s activity was a early Halloween Party. It was lots of fun.

An unexpected pleasure of our apartment building is the very big and well maintained exercise room. This is nothing I ever had on my list of “needs to have ” when we started looking for the home we were going to downsize into but it’s great. We cerainly get our money’s worth from it as we strive to stay in shape. And we thoroughly enjoy the diversity and the friendliness of our fellow tennants. There is such a good mix of age and ethnicity and no one age dominates. And best of all, two of our precious children and their families live near by.

October golf weather can be ideal or it can be a pointed reminder that cold weather is on its way. We try to golf several times a week. October is a mix of beautiful days and cold weather reminder days. Last time we golfed neither Jerry or I was pleased with our games. As I have said many times before golf is a very humbling game. Just when you think you have mastered its idiosyncrasies it lets you know who is boss.

Meg and the boys came from Media on Saturday, the 19th. They joined us for the gala that is sponsored by LSNV ( Legal Services of Northern Virginia), the amazing organization that Jim heads. This gala is a once a year fundraiser and Jerry and I always feel so proud of the work done by Jim and his organization. All family members who could attended the gala.

The next day we golfed with Brian and Liam – before they headed back home with Meg to Pennsylvania. Brian is a very good golfer and Liam, more and more, is showing the potential to be very competent at this amazing and frustrating and very fun sport.

Today is Sunday. We attended mass at our Lady Queen of Peace. Feeling grateful to have found a parish we like as much as St John Neumann, our church home of about thirty years when we lived on Tolman Road, That was followed by scrabble and a yummy dinner with Maura, Jim and Lisa and Josh. Paul is in Argentina on business.

We are so blessed in our family!!!

Beach Time and Birthday Time

The birthday men being honored♥️♥️♥️

Jim and Lisa kicked off Jerry and Jimmy’s birthday celebrations this year with such a fun gathering at their home that featured hitting plastic golf balls in the backyard, and best of all, playing a trivia game on Jerry’s life that had been put together by Jim.. There was also a yummy dinner and a mouth watering chocolate pie created by Jimmy.

When Jimmy Ferguson was born on Grandpa Jerry’s birthday August 26,1999 he was a very loved birthday gift. And down through the years it has always been so special when we celebrate their joint birthdays.

Several days later we headed to Ocean Grove for six glorious days at Jerry(son) and Teresa’s lovely home on the Jersey shore where we again honored Jerry(grandpa’s) 90th birthday. This number is a very special birthday and it was honored lovingly. I have also always liked that Jerry’s birthday is August 26. Mine is April 26. And our wedding anniversary is November 26. You can understand why the the number 26 is a favorite.

The Jerry birthday celebrations ended with our days in Ocean Grove and a special dinner where the birthday questions were again featured. This was followed by an intense and very fun game of charades.

I love the way our children and grandchildren and extended family focused on birthday activities and messages that reflected Jerry and what he likes. The thousand piece puzzle from the MacCurtins occupied our last days in Ocean Grove. Such fun to do and when we left the puzzle was more than ninety percent complete.

It was a blessing to do our birthday traveling with Maura and Paul. It was a blessing to celebrate with Joe and the precious grandchildren who were able to be in person at the celebrations. It was a blessing to get calls and messages from those who couldn’t be with us in person. Jerry and I are truly blessed in our family and in our friends.

Mid summer we were also on the Jersey shore for our family beach week. When the children were small our ocean time was focused on places on the Maryland and Deleware shore and for years we owned a condo in Bethany Beach, Deleware. As the children got older and more focused on wave riding we began a search for the perfect beach for wave riding. One year, after Jerry participated in a sprint triathlon on the Maryland shore, we traveled North up the shore line till we reached lower Jersey. We tested various beaches for their suitability for a family of enthusiastic and fearless wave riders. We struck gold in lower Jersey – lots of places where we liked what the beaches had to offer. Over the years we have tested various Jersey spots and now our most favorites are Diamond Beach and Ocean Grove.

Final thoughts : reflecting on the happy times of these past weeks may we always keep our focus on appreciating life’s joys.

TIME FLIES

It has been over two months now since we moved into our new apartment home. We love it but it sure is a big adjustment to go from our lovely four bedroom home of thirty five years to a two bedroom apartment. We have always run a pretty organized household so I thought moving would be no big deal. I was so wrong!!!

View from our balcony

An example of the decisions to be made: our previous home with its many rooms had lots of wall space and we, over the thirty five years we lived there, covered the walls with meaningful photos and memorabilia. As our son-in-law Paul said we had to go from several hundred wall hangings( a slight exaggeration) to maybe twenty five. It has been a tough downsize and an emotional reliving of all the memories that the wall hangings represented.

It has been a bit hard for me to refer to our new home as our home. The word” home” conjurs up memories and in a new abode there are no memories to call upon. Initially I was feeling a bit like we were staying in a vacation residence that has lots of fun activities with its well equipped exercise room, and swimming pool. Gradually we are settling into our new home. I was very pleased when recently I was out for coffee with a dear friend when before I knew it an hour had passed. I told my friend that I had to head home, that a repairman was coming for a mal functioning wall light. I thought it was such a good sign that the word ” home” seemed to flow from me with such ease. We were truly starting to settle in to our new abode.

When we first moved to our apartment our thought was that we would stay here till our house sold and then we would purchase a condo in Falls Church putting us close to our two children and their families who lived in Falls Church. The sale happened so quickly we had no thought of moving on. The nice neighbors with their mix of age and ethnicity is very appealing as are the exercise facilities and the warm and cozy gathering areas. The fact that it is getting so easy to call our new apartment home is another sign of the rightness of this move.

An unexpected treat is having a good grocery store just an elevator ride away. This is an amenity that I never gave any thought to but we sure are enjoying the convenience.

This past Sunday we attended church at Our Lady Queen of Peace in south Arlington – about a 25 minute drive away. We have been attending different churches trying to find our new church home. This is a tough job since the church we came from, St.John Neumann, was so warm and welcoming – our standards are high. We have over the years been to services at Our Lady Queen of Peace. We went there with various friends. Jack Donohue’s funeral was there. It has the warmth and the diversity that are so important to Jerry and me but from our home on Tolman Road it was a tad far and anyway we were very happy at St John Neumann. Now the distance is less and we are seriously thinking of making it our parish home.

Last Saturday, Fr Don, from St John Neumann, came for dinner. A special treat was that he asked if he could bless our new home. There was no nicer gift that he could have given us.

Tomorrow we head to Diamond Beach , New Jersey for our family beach week. There will be at least twenty four in attendance. We are truly blessed.

SELLING OUR HOME OF 35 YEARS

We have now been in our new apartment home for more than three weeks. It is quite a change from our beautiful four bedroom home of the last thirty five years. For the last maybe ten years we have talked about downsizing but since we were quite happy in our home we didn’t think there was any rush and then suddenly we were well into our eighties and downsizing seemed like it was time. About six months ago I had another attack of acute A fib again taking me to the emergency room to get my heart rhythm under control. It took me a little longer to bounce back from this episode. For the first time I felt strongly that we could no longer put off downsizing and Jerry agreed.

We checked out two Continuing Care communities. One of them had no independent living but said that they took residents who qualified for independent living and grouped them with those who needed assisted living care. It was not an appealing concept. As a young teen I frequently wished I was older. At various times in my young life I have wanted to be older. As I have gotten older I have always savored the life stage I was in and have never wished to speed it up. A continuing Care community that had no independent living was never an option for us. We considered purchasing a condo in Falls Church. And finally we settled on renting an apartment in Falls Church that put us close to to Maura and Paul and Jim and Lisa and their precious families.

On May 9 we moved out of our home of thirty five years and turned it over to Amy – our real estate agent and the various stagers she uses in selling a home. It officially went on the market May 30. Three days later we learned from Amy that there was a lot of interest and that the house had sold. The buyers wrote us a letter saying how much they loved the house stating that “they understand the emotional weight of selling a home and they don’t take that lightly. Your home wouldn’t just be property to us, it would be a place we would treasure”. I cried and couldn’t read any more. Jerry finished the reading . Selling a beloved home is difficult. It is an answer to prayer that we have such caring new owners.

DOWNSIZING

What does it mean to downsize? In Jerry’s and my case it means to leave our beautiful, memory filled four bedroom home of the last thirty- five years and move to a two bedroom , two bath apartment in the city of Falls Church where we will be near two of our five children and their amazing families. This has been for us a home of weddings, births of grandchildren, entertaining extended family and friends, being active in our community, and participating in our parish church.

Church is very important to us and for the first few years after moving here we tried various local parishes never quite feeling like we had found our new spiritual home. We even checked in with the diocesan office to see what geographically they were recommending be our parish church. This turned out to be a very conservative church which was okay but not very inspiring. Finally one of our neighbors asked if we had visited St. John Neumann in Reston. We felt instantly at home. This is a church which practices and truly lives up to the concept: ” All are welcome.” We will miss St. John Neumann when we move. We are grateful for the services and activities we have participated in, for the friends we have made. We appreciate the assurance of one of our parish priests who promises he will find his way to Falls Church to maintain our friendship.

Our present house is only a five minute drive from International Country Club which we have belonged to for the last thirty-five years and where we have spent many happy and sometimes frustrating hours honing our golf skills. Golf is a sport that both Jerry and I enjoy and we are fortunate that as we approach our nineties we are still able to play. We only play nine holes at a time now but do play two to three times a week. When we move to Falls Church we will give up our club membership and play at a very convenient public course-Jefferson Park . In an unusual twist Jefferson Park was the original International Country Club. In the late 1960’s Fairfax County bought the Falls Church International Country Club from its members in exchange for the Fairfax County land the present club resides on plus a considerable sum of money. It was a very good deal for the club and for Fairfax County. Jefferson Park which is a well used public course is only a short drive from our new apartment home.

These past few weeks have been full of emotional happenings. We will be moving into our new abode – back to apartment living – on May 10. When we were first married we lived in an apartment in Arlington, Virginia. It allowed me to continue my job as a public health nurse for Arlington County. I loved my job but when I got pregnant and had some days in those first three months when I really wasn’t feeling well, Jerry suggested I step back from work and we move to Maryland. He was working at the Patent Office during the day and going to Catholic University’s law school four nights a week. Living in Maryland, in the Bethesda area, would be much more convenient for him as he juggled work and night law school. And so when our lease was up we found the perfect apartment in Bethesda. Part of the charm of this location was that my brother Pete and his wife Louise were in an apartment building right across the street from where we settled. It was so much fun having them close by.

Our first born, Jerry – named after his father – was born in the Bethesda apartment. When that lease was up we bought our first home, a small three bedroom rambler, in Kensington, Maryland . In the next four years this home was the birthplace of Maura, Joe , Jim and Meg. It was a wonderful house but as the children got bigger, the house got smaller. We started looking for a bigger home and when Meg was about two we bought a new and bigger home in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. It was the home from where the children attended grade school, high school and college.

And then we moved to Virginia to our present home where as I said in starting this blog , we have lived for the past thirty -five . years. It was much more convenient to Jerry’s office. It will be hard to leave this house of such powerful memories but as we approach our nineties, it is time. We are excited to be in Falls Church where two of our married children live . We will be walking distance to the library, to the Community Center, and the Senior Center which offer a number of activities, to a lovely park, to a very fun Farmers’ Market, to some yummy restaurants. And the list goes on.

As we prepare for the big move, Jerry and I like reflecting on the words of an unknown sage, ” You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”