BEACH MEMORIES

We have been back for about a week from the 2026 annual family beach week. Beach week is a meaningful tradition that has been part of our family for many years. When our five children were small we co-owned a condo at Sea Colony on the Delaware shore with Pete and Louise and their four girls. We alternated the weeks or weekends that we spent at the beach condo. An added blessing was that my mother and her twin sister, Marg, and her husband, Jim, had moved down from New York and also owned a condo in the same building. In addition they had a condo with my mother in Northern Virginia but they all spent as much time at Bethany Beach as they could. Their beach presence, when we were there, was a gift we did not take lightly.

The beach condo building had an excellent and very popular indoor swimming pool. When the weather dictated that it was not a good day for ocean swimming, the twins got their exercise in the indoor pool. They were both excellent swimmers. The life guard pool routine was to call an adult break on the hour. You had to be at least 16 to stay in the water during adult break. The life guards were kind of casual about calling these breaks but not when Mom and Aunt Marg were present. Breaks were always called. It was a 10 – 15 minute hourly gift of real swimming that the twins appreciated as did others who met the age requirements. The twins never asked for this special treatment but they sure appreciated it.

With the passage of time – and when Mom and Aunt Marg and Uncle Jim were no longer with us, Pete and Louise moved to their condo and we stayed in the condo that we had shared with them. When work schedules and school schedules and extra – curricular activities permitted, we made many trips to Sea Colony both in season and out of season. When we were living in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, depending on traffic, the trip took about three hours. The children were good travelers and the time went by fast. One of our most favorite car games to play was Botticelli. Don’t know where the game came from but it sure was a favorite. The one who was ‘it” picked a person for us to guess – that person could be either living or deceased, from any walk of life, at least as famous as the painter Botticelli. The others had only a total of twenty questions they could ask to solve the mystery. Some times it was solved sometimes not. If not, then the puzzle master got another turn. We played other car games but definitely Botticelli was a big favorite.

In the 1980’s- the college years for our children- and when we had three in college at the same time and when beach construction had adversely affected the ocean flow and the quality of wave riding which was and is so important to our family, we decided to sell our unit at Sea Colony. The children were exploring various life pathways. It was difficult to come up with more than a week’s time that we could all spend together at the beach.

In searching for the perfect spot for our beach week, post Sea Colony, we experimented with different ocean beach locations from the Jersey shore to the Virginia beaches finally narrowing in on the Jersey shore and Diamond Beach and Ocean Grove. This year there were 26 of us at Diamond Beach. With our size we long ago gave up trying to be in one house for Beach Week. And we no longer take turns hosting at one time the whole gang for a beach dinner together. We do gather together during the day on the beach and at night for talent night and for ice cream.

Talent night is very special. There is no pressure to perform but there is great participation. With guitar playing, group singing, solos, duets, original music, etc. the time just flies by. With my lack of musicality, unlike my very blessed musical husband, I don’t usually participate in the performances but I revel in them and am grateful that our children inherited Jerry’s musical gifts.

I grew up in a family of beach lovers. Even when we didn’t have a car it was an easy walk to the Long Island train station and less than a half hour ride to the Rockaway ocean beaches. As I said in a previous blog I still remember my father taking me in the water on his shoulders when I was afraid of the water. That was so special that when my water fear passed I pretended to still have it so that the shoulder rides would continue. Then one day my father said that he detected such joy in my face as we were heading to the ocean that he wondered about my fears. I had to confess that they no longer existed but that I sure did love riding on his shoulders. He laughed and said the shoulder rides would continue but now they should be mixed in with some ocean swimming on my part. I agreed.

A few years ago son Jerry and his wife Teresa bought a home on the beach in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. We love visiting them there. It is also a happy reminder of the summer times as a young teen that I spent with my grandmother when she was staying in Spring Lake – a town close to Ocean Grove. My cousin Franny and I alternated spending time visiting with our grandmother.

Why is the beach so important to me? It is a thought I enjoy reflecting on. I love the ocean and its many faces – the water’s roughness, its smoothness, its beauty. It is a place to reflect, to plan, to make memories, to enjoy. Jerry and our children and grandchildren love the ocean as much as I do. That is a special gift.

SCHOOL DAYS AND FRIENDSHIPS

Growing up my brothers and I attended the local Catholic grade school. Because of my April birthday my first day of grade school was in February. I believe that after my class, New York state did away with February school starts. Definitely for the best. February school starters were smaller in number which is probably why New York State eliminated the program. We graduated with nine boys and nine girls in my class. Since, depending on the time of year, in our eight room school building we were combined with either the September class in front of us or the September class behind us, and since the school only had eight class rooms, there usually ended up being about sixty in the class. Size for the September starters was much larger. The nuns were amazing as they navigated the different learning agendas for the two different classes combined in the same room.

I have been flipping through the dictionary looking at various definations of friendship. According to AI, via the computer, true friendship is ” a mutally supportative judgment-free bond built on trust , loyalty, and acceptance.”

In grade school my best friend was Gracie during school time, and Iris and Joan and Gladys when I was around home. Gracie only lived a few blocks away but it was enough that ours was mainly a school friendship until we were considered old enough to go between one another’s homes on our own. Joan lived next door and Iris was four houses down the street in one direction and Gladys was three houses in the opposite direction.

A note on Joan. Her younger sister, Ruth, became famous as the wife of Bernie Madoff. Madoff was the financier behind a Ponzi scheme that swindled sixty- five billion dollars from thousand of clients. He was eventually caught and sentenced to 150 years in prison. He died in prison in 2021. Ruth seemed so nice as Joan’s younger sister (I always wanted a sister), that, when in my adult years I learned of her relationship with Bernie Madoff, I found it hard to believe.

Even though Joan lived right next door, the fact that we were in different schools, with different vacations and different activity interests and with parents who were friendly but not close friends, the situation was not conducive to forming a deep friendship. In my adult years when I learned of Ruth’s marriage experience I felt badly for her and for those affected by her husband’s financial dealings.

I had good high school, college, and nursing school friends. Which is probably why I got chosen for various leadership positions: class offices, prom committee leadership, etc. The nun who was the moderator for the high school prom committee taught me an important life lesson. Prom was held in the Fall of the year and it combined the seventh and eighth terms . I seem to remember five representatives were elected from each class and then they chose a chairwoman and a vice chairwoman . The reps from my term chose me and the seventh term reps chose one from their group. Problem was that even though I knew my classmates had chosen me I didn’t think it was appropriate to vote for myself for chairwoman so I voted for the seventh term rep who had won her classmates vote. Since she received one more vote than me, thanks to my vote, she became the chairwoman and I the vice chair. Afterward the moderator scolded me and actually gave me a lecture on ” know your value”. She focused her thoughts on when it was appropriate to be humble. She felt I would make the better chairwoman – the position had many responsibilities and the moderator thought I was better equipped to handle them. Since the moderator was normally a very quiet, soft spoken nun I was very surprised and effected by her scolding and her ” know your value ” thoughts.

As I look back at my life I have always valued friendships and felt that a few close friends were a very special gift. Today I am still close to several of my nursing school friends: Rene and Ann and Bev. Of course at age 89 I have lost some friendships that I especially cherished. Moira and Al were a couple that Jerry and I were both very close to. And the same can be said of Joanne and Jack. And there were others who have passed who are specially missed.

My brother Pete and his wife Louise are special friends whom we cherish. My priestly brother Bud/ Father Joe who died about ten years ago was an important presence in our lives.

I am truly blest that my best friend is my husband, Jerry. He is thoughtful and kind and caring and just plain fun to be with.

I am very moved by the words of St Thomas Aquinas:” There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”

“A PRIVILEGE TO AGE”

IThe above words were part of a birthday message from Charlie, a beloved grandson. I have been doing a lot of reflecting on this stage of life and these words accurately summarize my thoughts. Jerry is ninety and I am eighty nine. We are fortunate to be blessed with reasonably good health. Some of our closest friends have not been so fortunate. Last weekend we attended the funeral of a dear friend of about fifty years. We feel her loss.

In an attempt to promote good health we are conscious of getting appropriate exercise. We golf – weather & bodies behaving – at least two times a week. It used to be eighteen holes but now it is just nine. The course we play at most often is a public course, Jefferson Park. It always amuses me when I reflect Jefferson Park was the original International Country Club – our golfing home of thirty-five years.

When we downsized this past year, we rented an apartment in Falls Church near our local families with the intent of buying a condo once our home was sold. When the house sold in three days it was just too soon to think of moving into a condo. In the past year we have come to really like living in our new apartment. There are about three hundred units which are occupied by folks with a diversity of age, ethnicity and background that makes this buildiing very special. In addition to the diversity aspect of our building there are some State Department employees who are residents on their home rotations. It is fun chatting with them about their various overseas assignments. Residents are very friendly. Sometimes I think it must be a little like living in a small town. Also the building management sponsors a community activity about once a week that helps to promote that small town feeling.

Growing up my brothers and I were blessed to have our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and great aunts and great uncles who to varing degrees were an important part of our lives. From our older relatives we got a personal introduction to the concept of aging. From my great Aunt Mary who lived into her late 90’s and who lived near Cornell University nursing school where I attended, I got a personal view of the development of nursing as a career. When Aunt Mary, who graduated from nursing school in 1892, would invite me for dinner and to spend the night, she would start off the evening by talking of her nursing days. Then she would abruptly stop and say ” I have talked enough. It is your turn. Tell me about nursing today. ” I loved those conversations as we covered about 60 years of changes.

My parents were very conscious of appropriately celebrating each of our birthdays. Bud’s birthday was October 24th and mine is April 26. I sometimes thought that my brother Pete with his January 10th birthday got cheated a little with birthday greetings and gifts from family and friends because his birthday was so close to Christmas. I remember a birthday in particular where the message that Pete found on opening several gifts was ” Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday”. I felt like he was being robbed of presents and promised myself that when I grew up and got married and had children, there would be no babies born in early January.

Eveybody deserves to have their birthdays adequately celebrated. When our firstborn arrived on January 8, 1962 Jerry and I were thrilled, but I still remembered my feelings about some of Pete’s celebrations. Jerry and I decided that it was important our children always feel the specialness of their own birthdays with each having a family birthday party, a friend party, and dinner out by themselves with Mom and Dad. We did that for many years. At the Mom and Dad celebration, we asked the birthday questions: ” What is the best thing that happened to you in this past year? ” and “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As the eighteen Grandchildren arrived on the scene, the celebration questions underwent some changes and a new birthday question was added: “What is your spirit animal?”

I felt particularly blessed by my this year’s birthday celebrations. including special cards and special calls from family and friends, dinner which Jerry and I shared with Pete and Lou and Nora and Art and another celebratory dinner with the Constances and the Jim Fergusons. We always used to also celebrate birthdays with the Eiseles, Donohues and Bartleys. Now these precious friends are no longer with us but the happy memories of those times are a treasure.

I agree with the words of Aretha Franklin ” Every birthday is a gift. Every day is a gift.”

TIME FLIES

Before March became the month when Jerry and I first met, March was special for me because it was the month when we celebrated St Patrick’s day. Both my parents were of Irish heritage but Pop’s parents were actually ” off the boat” from Ireland so his positive feelings about St. Patty’s Day might have been a tad stronger than my mother’s. Though my father spoke perfect English he loved to switch to the Irish brogue when he thought it appropriate. Both my brothers and I inherited that gift. Guess I was pretty good at it bcause in high school when the Genesians – our school acting club – decided to make the big Spring play be about Irish life – I was happy to show off my brogue skills and was able to land a major role in the production.

My brothers all boys high school was St Francis Xavier Military Academy High School. When I first heard the long winded name of the school they were going to, I thought the name a bit pompus. But in the years the brothers were at Xavier I came to love their school choice. The school marched in the big New York City St. Patrick’s Day Parade. My all girls school , Mary Louis Academy, did not march. My parents and I would go into the City to see the parade and cheer the boys on. As I have said my brothers were two and four years older than me. I loved seeing them march down 5th Avenue and then getting together with them afterward. But I was boy shy around my brother’s friends, I was very conscious that I was the younger sister. With the passage of time both boys graduated from Xavier, Bud entering the Jesuit seminary and Pete heading off to Holy Cross College. On finishing Mary Louis I went on to Marymount College in New York City. I specify which Marymount I attended because there are other Marymounts but I think this is the only one specifically for day hops. This is the one I subwayed to for a year and a half to earn the sixty credits necessary for admission to Cornell University’s nursing program.

Mary Louis High School girls did not march in the St. Patrick’s parade but Marymount College girls did. Since I started Marymount in February I was there for two March 17ths and able to march in two parades. . There are St Patrick’s parades all over the United States. The New Yor City parade is probably the biggest and millions of people watch it.

I never saw the Xavier boys while marching for Marymount. Their location in the parade was just too far removed from the Marymount location. But when I was at Cornell – their nursing school and medical school are both in New York City – I had no classes on one parade day and was able to talk some of my classmates into joining me in walking over to 5th Avenue to watch the parade. It was so much fun and when I spotted the Xavier group about to pass by I was excited. I even felt some of the heart flutters that I used to feel when still in grade school. But now as I looked closely at the boys, I thought they were just children – some at least seven years younger than I who would soon be graduating from Cornell and starting my professsional career in nursing. These boys were just working their way through high school. It was so much fun to see them but that phase of my life was long over. I think that was one of the first times I truly focused on different life stages.

Wih graduation looming I think the nursing school did an excellent job of preparing us for job looking – the professional nursing job search was an entirely different life stage then any of my classmates or I had experienced before. All these years later I still remember one talk from the nursing school Dean which focused on the practical aspects of looking for the appropriate job, bearing in mind the learning experience and realistic capabilities which we, at that time, brought to the job market. She gave the example of being offered the deanship of a nursing school. We all laughed, at the thought of such an offer but her exaggeration for emphasis really hit home. The job market for nurses at that time was wide open. There were lots of possibilities out there and the Dean was just cautioning us to choose wisely. My nursing school rotation in public health had been a strong favorite for me. Having grown up in suburban New York Ciity and gone to school in New York City I thought it was time to expand my horizons. I took a job with the Arlington County, Virginia Health Department. Both my brothers were living in the DC area and one of my closest friends from high school, Gen, had gone to college there and she wanted to stay in that area as did one of her close college friends. We three decided to live together in Glover Park, right outside of Georgetown. This worked well for me because the drive from Glover Park to the health department office in Arlington was not bad – maybe twenty to thirty minutes depending on traffic.

I loved being a public health nurse. It offered so much variety from clinic nursing, to home nursing, to school nursing. The clinic nursing was an eye opener for me with its white well baby clinic, the black well baby clinic, and the white and black maternity clinics. This was segregation that I knew existed but had never experienced. Growing up on Long Island, if there was segregation, I was oblivious to it.

My father’s longest running teaching job was one that he transferred to when he and my mother moved to Laurelton. The public school was located in South Jamaica in a predominately black neighborhood. All my growing years, it is the only teaching job that I remember for him. Even though Pop and my Mother had started their fledgling law practice, the post depression years were tough on them. Pop did not feel that he could give up the financial security that teaching offered.

My parents were married in 1930 when the country was experiencing the after effects of the 1929 stock market crash. My parents had met at the Fordham University Law School, in the evening session. Both were putting themselves through school – as was Mom’s twin sister Marg-Pop, by being a public school teacher, and my mother by working at the Title Guarantee and Trust Company. My mother’s parents could have helped with the twins tuition however they were not excited with the path the twins had chosen. But ultimately they were very proud of their daughters.

My father never gave up the teaching profession and the financial security it offered. The post depresssion years were financially tough for my parents and their contemporaries. Pop and Mom had their own law practice but it took many years of hard work for them to make it profitable. My Mother ran the practice during the day while my father was pursuing his teaching job. For most of his teaching career my father taught in black schools. I never heard a word from him that suggested he had a racial bias. So when I was introduced to a public health system that had different clinics for the black and white population it was an adjustment. When various folks heard that I had accepted a job with the Arlington Health Department they were happy for me but told me there would have to be some racial adjustments on my part. With the Health Department color organized clinics I finally I got a glimpse of what they were talking about. I am and was inspired by the words of Desmond Tutu: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

And now we are in April. March passed by so quickly. This blog installment was actually finished about a week ago. But visits from precious family and good friends so occupied my time and thoughts that I doubted my ability to do a proper job of proof reading.


SNOW TIME

Thank you Meg for sharing this picture!

Up until February of this year it just didn’t feel like winter to me. Sure it was cold some days but not cold enough to keep Jerry and me off the golf course two to three times a week. Then came February with its two snow falls – both with amounts in the single digits. Golf was now of course out of the question but the snow certainly gave nature a chance to show off one of her special gifts of natural beauty. And it brought back so many memories from childhood.

It seems to me that in childhood from late November on, snow was a possibility. Our home in Laurelton, Long island shared a double driveway with our next door neighbors. It was great for sleigh riding. You could go from the driveway to the sidewalk and then on down the sidewalk. The driveway was part hill. When I was a new sleigh rider – not sure how old but pretty young – I thought the hill was intimidating. But my two and four years older than me brothers were doing it with no problem and I was determined to do it also. Eighty plus years later I still remember the thrill I felt on my first solo ride down that hill – scared but determined. It really was a life lesson for me – sometimes fears are to be paid attention to and sometimes they are to be overcome.

Our home in Laurelton was on 224th street. Two blocks away began the woods which separated us from Springfield Gardens, the next town over. The woods were well trafficked and contained a great hill for sleding. Once I conquered our driveway hill, the hill in the woods was next. It was a very popular spot with of course no vehicular traffic – a big plus. Coming down our driveway hill if you missed the turn on to sidewalk you ended up out in the road where you had to watch carefully for cars. It was not that busy a street but still cars were an issue that our parents warned us to be conscious of.

Jerry and I have lived in three houses in our married life. The first house on Morrell Court in Kensington, Maryland was a rambler – perfect for a young couple with a precious baby boy and the four more children who quickly followed. It had a big yard and plenty of room when the snow came for outside play and for making snow men. But inside the house, room was getting a little tight with five precious little people and as the children grew older, we decided it was time to move.

House number two was on Appleby Court in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. It was a great community in which to raise children and in a snowy winter provided many venues for sledding. We lived in the back of Appleby Court and the road sloped down from there. There was Pepco Hill near by named for the hilly expanse of land that held the wired towers providing electricity for the community. Pepco Hill had an amazing hill for sledding and our children and the neighborhood children put it to good use. It had a steep beginning slope and long runout afterwards. I still remember clearly a ride that I took, that went on and on and on , and I just loved it. Before we moved an older neighbor couple whose chiildren were grown, added to our sled collection giving us a large size Flexible Flyer that was well used in the sledding years to come.

We moved to our third home in Fairfax,Virginia in 1990. Home number one was where four of our children were born. ( Son Jerry arrived when we were still apartment dwellers.) Home number two saw the children pass from the baby years into their college years. And number three saw the finish of college time and ushered in first jobs and wedding bells. It was also where I started the Naomi Project – a mentoring program for high risk pregnant women. And it was the first and only time I went to Japan on a business trip with Jerry. Busy, busy wonderful years!!!

Sadly, these past years have seen a decrease in snow fall. When Jerry and I first met in 1960 it was on March 5th, the cold day after a major snowfall in the DC area. Looking at the forecast today for next week’s March 5th the forecast is for 71 degrees. Forecasts a week off are frequently not accurate but in no way is the weather going to drop to the cold temperature of 66 years ago.

For a number of years Jerry and I have gone to Florida for the months of January, February and March. Now we don’t do that anymore but when we did it was a mixed weather blessing for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the warmth of Florida, the friends we made, and the golf and beach time that were so accessible. But I also missed the snowy winters of the North.

Snow has always been very special for me. I feel communion with these words of Aristotle: To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake , it is necessary to stand out in the cold.

JANUARY 2026 REFLECTIONS

An Uncle Bud Christmas mass 2008

We took down our Christmas decorations about two weeks ago. They provide such happy memories that I am never in a rush to get them put away till next year. The little angel in the pink cloth dress that was the first Christmas decoration that Jerry and I purchased together, is looking a little dilapidated after 65 years of being paid special attention to at Christmas time. The little angel will always deserve its specialness.

We learned this year that downsizing includes downsizing your Christmas collection. Coming from a rather big house where we had some form of decoration for each room it quickly became obvious that we couldn’t display all our decorations. But that was not an easy decision when the majority of our decorations had ties to our children, our grandchildred and friends. We ended up with three large decoration filled trays and a basket that were artfully displayed around the apartment. Our smallish tree sat on a table by the living room window and it beautifully displayed some ornaments – but it could not showcase too many.

We have had two special nativity scenes down through the years. When first married we purchased a creche scene with about ten figures. We loved it and had no problem when the children wanted to play with the manger scene – after all the creche represented what Christmas was all about. Our reasoning was appropriate but unrealistic if we wanted the manger to survive the play of five small children. In the late 70’s my mother gifted us with a new manger scene. By that time the old creche was a bit battered and most of the figures had been decapitated. The children were now young teens and pre teens who honored the new creche and what it stood for – there were no more decapitations. This is the creche we lovingly still use today. Some of my most favorite Christmas memories are intertwined with the putting up of Christmas decorations and the taking down and reflection on the meaning of Christmas. When Santa belief holds sway it is easy to focus on “what am I going to get for Christmas”. That phase is lots of fun but the spiritual aspects have so much more meaning.

When Bud was ordained and able to spend Christmas with us he would say Mass. I have always found the Christmas celebrations at church to be very special but a Christmas home Mass led by my priestly brother was an amazing gift. For these masses the core group was our family, Pete and Louise and their girls, and our parents. Sometimes we were joined by extended family and friends.

And now it is mid January and that special time of prayer and anticipation and reflection has come to a close. We are excited for the New Year and what it offers. And with our large family, January is a another packed full birthdays month. A time when we honor Uncle Jim Murphy, Annie, Brendan, Brian, Jerry, Pete, Khushi, Charlie, Moira Eisele and John Connelly.

As a child I remember being glad my birthday wasn’t in January – like my brother Pete. I thought that sometimes he got “Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday” gifts. I took a pledge that when I was married and having babies I would never have a January baby. Well our first child was a January baby, but I don’t think Jerry ever felt his big day was short changed. It was such a gift when he was born.

We don’t know what the New Year will bring but we are excited to find out. I find so much meaning in these words of C.S. Lewis : You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN !!!

Starting with the precious family pictured above, Jerry and I have so much to be thankful for.

In our seventies is when we first talked about downsizing. We knew that as we aged it was a step we needed to take but for us the seventies were too early for such a move. And besides how would we ever be able to host large family gatherings. In our late eighties we knew we couldn’t put off the move much longer, so we went condo looking and checking out continuing care communities. We quickly ruled out the continuing care communities – maybe at some later time one would be right for us, but not now. With two of our precious families in Falls Church it was a no brainer to make that location the focus of our condo looking.

We decided to go into an apartment till our wonderful home sold. But that happened in three days and seven plus months later we are still apartment dwellers. This building, West Broad , has so many inviting features plus a friendly and competent staff. How to host large family gatherings is not an issue at West Broad. There is a warm and inviting community room which can be rented. We had tweny-five for Christmas dinner and the setting was perfect for socializing, eating and singing. And about the same number at Thanksgiving. An added joy at Thanksgiving time was the celebration of our sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. Thanks to the thoughtfulness and love of our children and grandchildren it was a perfect celebration.

What stands out about this past year – there are so many answers to that question. Being geographically close to two of our children and their families, and watching all the grandchildren grow up has been a particular joy. The thoughfulness and caring of our three families who don’t live close by, but who take time to visit is a special gift. We love honoring all our children and grandchildren and their birthdays, and gifting them, and telephoning them if we are not going to be together to sing the birthday song. We laud the school choices the grandchildren have made and their job decisions.

I wondered when we moved in May if it would be the end of my lectoring at morning mass. So up till that time I especially savored the lectoring experience. When we first moved to Falls Church we attended the local Catholic church. It was a prayerful but conservative experience. We did not feel the warmth of St. John Neumann – the parish we had been part of for so many years. After some research we decided to give Our Lady Queen of Peace in South Arlington a try and felt an immediate connection. I am not lectoring any more but this church with its diversity, its enthusiasm, its music, its projection of caring, is ideal for us.

When we lived on Tolman Road we spent a fair amount of time on the golf course. When we moved we decided to give up our thirty- five year membership at International Country Club. As much as we enjoyed ICC we were only playing nine holes of golf two to three times a week. And the original ICC (now Jefferson Park) was only about ten minutes from our new home. It is a very comfortable and interesting nine hole course. Why pay for membership in an eighteen course when we were now only playing nine holes at a time?

This past year we have continued playing weekly, online bridge with our friends of about ten years, Janet and Jerry who live in Florida .We are pretty evenly matched and the quality of the bridge is challenging .

We are also challenged by our book group with Bob and Dot- friends of more than sixty five years – that meets about every five weeks. This is an on line gathering since Bob and Dot live in North Carolina. We take turns choosing the book to be read and the discussion is very stimulating.

This past year has been a meaningful challenge, but well worth all the challenges of downsizing. We are forging new memories and working at finding joy in this new life stage. As the French author Jules Renard said, ” It is not how old you are, but how you are old.”

NOVEMBER CELEBRATIONS

65 years ago

November has always been a special month for me. Growing up it meant that we would be getting together with extended family to celebrate Thanksgiving. We alternated years with my father’s family and with my mother’s family. The family that we didn’t see at Thanksgiving we spent Christmas with. Both times were equally special.

November is a time of important birthdays. First there was my father’s on the 19th. And then came my cousin Jim’s, my cousin Kathy’s and with the passage of time our beloved daughter Meg, our niece Patty, and grandchildren Graham, Elsa and Quinn. And then there is our wedding anniversary on November 26 and Pete and Lou’s on the 28th. Lots of celebrating going on.

Jerry and I met on March 5 of 1960. I have said before that I am a great believer in novenas. At that time I was making a novena ( 9 days of special prayer) that if one of the fellows I was dating was Mr. Right that I would see the light. I had decided to attend daily mass as part of the novena. On Saturday, March 5 I set the alarm for a little after 8 am so I could make the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, the local parish that my roommates and I attended in Georgetown. It didn’t have any later mass on Saturdays. When the alarm went off I was still so sleepy that I reset it for eleven figuring that some neighboring parish must have a noon mass. When I awoke at eleven I called the neighboring churches and found that St, Matthews Cathedral had the twelve o’clock mass I was looking for. I had never been to that church before but was confident I would find my way. It was not the easy find I expected, there had been a heavy snowfall and the roads were not in the best condition. When I finally arrived at St Matthews parking was an issue because of the snowfall. Then I noticed a blue Volkswagen going up the driveway next to the church. I figured the driveway must have been an entry to parking behind the church. So up I went but then my car slid right back down. I tried again with the same sliding back down the hill result. By this time the driver of the blue Volkswagen had parked his car and was standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding performance. Finally he came over and asked if he could help. I moved out of the drivers seat, he climbed in, we exchanged introductions and smoothly up the hill we went and easily into a parking place. We went into mass, sat together and the rest is history.

We were married on November 26 of 1960 and this year we celebrated our 65th wedding anniversary, The anniversary festivities actually took place on Thanksgiving day. We had reserved the community room of our new apartment home for our family gathering. There were 23 in attendance. Our apartment home is lovely but the max it holds for this type of gathering is about 15. It was a yummy pot luck traditional Thanksgiving dinner followed by special singing performances which the children had organized.

When I was a young teen and finally realized that I really was not very musical I used to pray that if God wanted to perform a very dramatic miracle He would suddenly make me musical. Well that never happened but God did give me a very special gift – a musical husband and five very musical children. And now we have eighteen grandchildren and each one of them is musical. The musical performances on Thanksgiving Day were a very special gift to celebrate our anniversary. I have a problem with tearing up at happy times and our anniversary celebrtion brought out the happy tears big time. Mixed in with the performances of our children they had Jerry and me dance – something we both love to do.

We are truly blessed!!!

OCTOBER TIME

Our beloved Uncle Bud

October is the birthday month for so many special people in my life – my brother Bud ( also known as Father Joe); our oldest grandchild, Emily and her husband David; our grandson Josh; my godson, Brian; Maura ‘s mother-in-law, Betty; our dear friend Dot Peters; and our daughter-in-law Teresa. All these incredible folks have played such an important part in my life but I want to start off this blog by focusing on my brother Bud.

From an early age Bud felt a calling to the priesthood. And fairly soon after he graduated from St Francis Xavier High School- where my brother Pete also went- a Jesuit school in Manhattan – he left home to join the Jesuits and begin the long process toward ordination. The morning he left he had to catch a very early bus. It was such an early bus that we said our goodbyes the night before. I was still asleep when he left and did not realize his plan was to give me his high school ring. He came into my bedroom before he left and slid the ring on my finger. I was overcome when I found the ring on my finger when I awoke and always cherished Bud’s gift.

As he progressed in his studies Bud was in the seminary in Pennsylvania and New York. He also spent several years in Latin America. His final job was as a chaplain at Gonzaga High school in Washington DC.

When I graduated from Cornell’s nursing school and came to Washington to work as a public health nurse for Arlington County, it was an easy move for me. I liked the girls I was living with and moreover, my priestly brother and my brother Pete and his bride were near by.

When I met Jerry I was so proud introducing him to my brothers. And when Jerry and I got engaged and were planning our wedding I wished the Jesuit road to ordination was not so lengthy because it would have been very special to have Bud officiate at our weddeing. But at least he was able to be on the altar. Our ceremony was officiated by the Catholic chaplain from Cornell who had become a good friend during my student nurse days.

Jerry and I have lived in thee different houses in our married life and three different apartments – the apartment we are in now being number three. The first house was in Kensington, Maryland where four of our children were born. At that time Bud was working in Latin America. Georgetown Prep invited us to use their ham radio setup to talk with Bud. Though we would write and use our own phone to stay in touch, the Georgetown set up was the best.

When Bud was back and working in southen Virginia it was easy to scoot down Route 301 to visit him and he was a frequent visitor to our second home which was in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. We lived there for twenty plus years. Home number three was in Fairfax, Virginia and it was our home for thirty-five years.. Such a blessing to have Bud’s home masses, to have him be part of weddings, baptisms and First Communions.

Bud was and is muchly loved. When he died on March 2 of 2016 we were moved by the many people who shared their love of him and their sorrow at his passing. I was very touched this year to get messages from our children on October 24. ” Happy Bud’s Birthday”. It was hard to accept when he died. I miss him.

And now Jerry and I are again experiencing apartment living and we are starting to feel more and more at home in our new abode. But it certaiinly has been an adjustment. The apartment management with its various activities is very skilled at promoting a sense of community among the tenants. About once a month there is some fun gathering. October’s activity was a early Halloween Party. It was lots of fun.

An unexpected pleasure of our apartment building is the very big and well maintained exercise room. This is nothing I ever had on my list of “needs to have ” when we started looking for the home we were going to downsize into but it’s great. We cerainly get our money’s worth from it as we strive to stay in shape. And we thoroughly enjoy the diversity and the friendliness of our fellow tennants. There is such a good mix of age and ethnicity and no one age dominates. And best of all, two of our precious children and their families live near by.

October golf weather can be ideal or it can be a pointed reminder that cold weather is on its way. We try to golf several times a week. October is a mix of beautiful days and cold weather reminder days. Last time we golfed neither Jerry or I was pleased with our games. As I have said many times before golf is a very humbling game. Just when you think you have mastered its idiosyncrasies it lets you know who is boss.

Meg and the boys came from Media on Saturday, the 19th. They joined us for the gala that is sponsored by LSNV ( Legal Services of Northern Virginia), the amazing organization that Jim heads. This gala is a once a year fundraiser and Jerry and I always feel so proud of the work done by Jim and his organization. All family members who could attended the gala.

The next day we golfed with Brian and Liam – before they headed back home with Meg to Pennsylvania. Brian is a very good golfer and Liam, more and more, is showing the potential to be very competent at this amazing and frustrating and very fun sport.

Today is Sunday. We attended mass at our Lady Queen of Peace. Feeling grateful to have found a parish we like as much as St John Neumann, our church home of about thirty years when we lived on Tolman Road, That was followed by scrabble and a yummy dinner with Maura, Jim and Lisa and Josh. Paul is in Argentina on business.

We are so blessed in our family!!!

Beach Time and Birthday Time

The birthday men being honored♥️♥️♥️

Jim and Lisa kicked off Jerry and Jimmy’s birthday celebrations this year with such a fun gathering at their home that featured hitting plastic golf balls in the backyard, and best of all, playing a trivia game on Jerry’s life that had been put together by Jim.. There was also a yummy dinner and a mouth watering chocolate pie created by Jimmy.

When Jimmy Ferguson was born on Grandpa Jerry’s birthday August 26,1999 he was a very loved birthday gift. And down through the years it has always been so special when we celebrate their joint birthdays.

Several days later we headed to Ocean Grove for six glorious days at Jerry(son) and Teresa’s lovely home on the Jersey shore where we again honored Jerry(grandpa’s) 90th birthday. This number is a very special birthday and it was honored lovingly. I have also always liked that Jerry’s birthday is August 26. Mine is April 26. And our wedding anniversary is November 26. You can understand why the the number 26 is a favorite.

The Jerry birthday celebrations ended with our days in Ocean Grove and a special dinner where the birthday questions were again featured. This was followed by an intense and very fun game of charades.

I love the way our children and grandchildren and extended family focused on birthday activities and messages that reflected Jerry and what he likes. The thousand piece puzzle from the MacCurtins occupied our last days in Ocean Grove. Such fun to do and when we left the puzzle was more than ninety percent complete.

It was a blessing to do our birthday traveling with Maura and Paul. It was a blessing to celebrate with Joe and the precious grandchildren who were able to be in person at the celebrations. It was a blessing to get calls and messages from those who couldn’t be with us in person. Jerry and I are truly blessed in our family and in our friends.

Mid summer we were also on the Jersey shore for our family beach week. When the children were small our ocean time was focused on places on the Maryland and Deleware shore and for years we owned a condo in Bethany Beach, Deleware. As the children got older and more focused on wave riding we began a search for the perfect beach for wave riding. One year, after Jerry participated in a sprint triathlon on the Maryland shore, we traveled North up the shore line till we reached lower Jersey. We tested various beaches for their suitability for a family of enthusiastic and fearless wave riders. We struck gold in lower Jersey – lots of places where we liked what the beaches had to offer. Over the years we have tested various Jersey spots and now our most favorites are Diamond Beach and Ocean Grove.

Final thoughts : reflecting on the happy times of these past weeks may we always keep our focus on appreciating life’s joys.