
Growing up music was not a part of my life . Then great Auny Mary decided that I needed to take piano lessons. By that time I was a student in the local parochial school where one of the nuns taught piano. It was the post depression era of the 1940’s . Though money was tight in our family Aunt Mary’s generous offer to pay for piano lessons convinced my parents that it was time for me to give the piano a try.
Neither of my parents was musical. Not sure that they realized that neither were their children. On my father’s side of the family I do not remember music assuming that much importance but on my mother’s side it was very important. My maternal grandparents were married in 1900. After giving birth to Uncle Don born in 1902, and my mother and her twin sister born in 1903 their mother only lived three more years. She succumbed to cancer in 1905.
Though Mom’s father died the day my brother Bud started high school – so I was around nine years old – I remember him very well. He was kind and caring and he played the piano at family gatherings. He married Nana in 1908. And Nana devoted herself to the three small children who had lost their birth mother. My mother loved her stepmother very much but on occasion would talk of missing her birth mother.
In our two story home in Laurelton the stairs had a platform at the third stair which enabled the direction of the stairs to change and head up to the second floor. My parents who thought their children were multi talented, would frequently have my brothers and I stand on that platform stair and entertain company. It is now so long ago that I do not remember exactly what my brothers and I did to entertain company. But, I believe singing was a part of it.
My parents had met in law school. They were married along with my mother’s twin,Marg, and her fiancee Jim Murphy, in 1930, in a double ceremony. The two couples first lived in New Jersey. They shared a house with Marg and Jim. Dad had paid for law school by working as a teacher for the New York City Board of Education. In the post depression era my father was hesitant to give up his teaching job. When New York City started to require that all its employees be residents of New York City, my parents moved with their young family to an apartment in New York City – in the same apartment complex as Aunt Marg and Uncle Jim and their small children. Marg and Jim had decided that it was also time for them to return to the City. By the time I was two and a half we had relocated to the house in Laurelton, Long Island that my parents stayed in for almost the next 30 years. My father liked teaching and the financial security that it offered. He never gave up teaching till he retired.
Once they moved into their Laurelton home Mom and Dad developed their own real estate and estate law practice that with time became very successful, but initially it was slow going. The 30’s and 40’s – the post depression and World War 2 period were difficult financial times for many folks. My father took on extra jobs offered by the Bard of Education. He became director ( I think that was his title ) of one of their summer playground programs. I loved going to work with him and participating in the various playground activities. And it was in one of those playground activities that I had my comeuppance regarding my musical talents. As the playground director Dad had under him someone in charge of sport activities and someone in charge of all other activities. When the person “in charge of all other activities” decided to put on a show I was pretty excited. I thought I would go for the lead singing part. My best friend at the playground decided to tryout for the same part. I wasn’t worried. I was used to performing – at home , on that third stair. At tryout time I went first. I cringe a little now when I think about it. When my friend got up to sing I knew right away she had the part. She had a beautiful voice. As I watched and listened I think it was the first time I really understood what it meant to carry a tune. I got an acting part – not a singing part. I didn’t deserve a singing part- my friend did.
In high school there was one more time that I tried out for a musical part. But this time it was with full knowledge that I was out of my element. Most of my friends belonged to the glee club, they loved it and wanted me to be a part of the good times they were having. It was very thoughtful but by this time I fully realized that I did not belong in a glee club. I actually had found my activity home in the Genesians, the acting club. When my friends wouldn’t give up on their insistence that I participate in glee club tryouts I finally agreed. The tryout was the disaster I expected. As I look back on it now I am amazed that I even agreed to tryout. I was not even embarrassed that I was there. I guess it was because I had landed a pretty good role in the next production of the acting club.
The summer I was fifteen our parish church decided to participate in a Catholic Youth Organization play competition. My brother Pete and I were both successful in trying out for parts. I was Matilda – a rich spinster and Pete was my nephew, Harold. The play was THE RED LAMP. We had so much fun. But, I don’t remember that we won any prizes.
My high school acting experience was also very enjoyable. The teacher who ran the Genesians had a fondness for Irish plays which meant if you wanted a role you had to be a master of the Irish brogue. The brogue came easy to me with my paternal Irish grandparents and my father who took pleasure in speaking with a brogue. And I also had the advantage in my all girls high school that with two older brothers I had easy access to guys clothing. My biggest role was as an Irish cop. I landed that part pretty easily. I had the brogue and I was able to wear the ROTC uniform that my brothers wore at their all-boys high school. I felt like I was appropriately dressed for the part.
I think it was the summer before Pete’s senior year in high school that one of his friends decided to have a beach party, that I also was invited to. It would be at night, around a fire and there would be a lot of singing. I had mixed feelings about the invite. By this time I was pretty realistic about my singing ability. Pete suggested that we learn the first lines of songs that were popular at that time. That proved not hard to do and actually was a nice gateway to feeling a part of the group.
I used to pray that if God wanted to do a pretty dramatic miracle He would gift me with a good singing voice. That never happened but the gift I did get was a beloved husband who is very musical and we have five very musical children. And nineteen musical grandchildren. I love it when my husband just spontaneously bursts into song. And when we have family gatherings and there is time set aside for group singing.
This past Easter we had three days of family gatherings. Alec, one of our college student grandchildren, brought his guitar. It was a special treat when he played and sang some of the songs that he has written.
When we have our family beach week, one night is set aside as our family talent night. Music plays a major role in the activities of that evening. It is very special when Jerry and our various children and grandchildren get up and showcase their talents.
Recently son Jim made a copy of a tape the family sang and sent to Joe when he was with the Peace Corps in Sierra Leone in the 1980’s. It was a tape of all the family singing the various parts of WE ARE THE WORLD. Jim sent a copy to each of us. Jerry and I loved it. It was a tape full of love and support for Joe as he carried out his Peace Corps obligations. And proud mother that I am, I thought it did a good job of showcasing the family musical talents.
Having lived these past almost sixty three plus years in a very musical environment, I feel very blessed. It has expanded my horizons.
There is a quote by the actor Neil Harris about performing that I feel applies very appropriately to life in general – You can have the smallest role in the smallest production and still have a big impact.
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