Growing up my brothers and I attended the local Catholic grade school. Because of my April birthday my first day of grade school was in February. I believe that after my class, New York state did away with February school starts. Definitely for the best. February school starters were smaller in number which is probably why New York State eliminated the program. We graduated with nine boys and nine girls in my class. Since, depending on the time of year, in our eight room school building we were combined with either the September class in front of us or the September class behind us, and since the school only had eight class rooms, there usually ended up being about sixty in the class. Size for the September starters was much larger. The nuns were amazing as they navigated the different learning agendas for the two different classes combined in the same room.

I have been flipping through the dictionary looking at various definations of friendship. According to AI, via the computer, true friendship is ” a mutally supportative judgment-free bond built on trust , loyalty, and acceptance.”

In grade school my best friend was Gracie during school time, and Iris and Joan and Gladys when I was around home. Gracie only lived a few blocks away but it was enough that ours was mainly a school friendship until we were considered old enough to go between one another’s homes on our own. Joan lived next door and Iris was four houses down the street in one direction and Gladys was three houses in the opposite direction.

A note on Joan. Her younger sister, Ruth, became famous as the wife of Bernie Madoff. Madoff was the financier behind a Ponzi scheme that swindled sixty- five billion dollars from thousand of clients. He was eventually caught and sentenced to 150 years in prison. He died in prison in 2021. Ruth seemed so nice as Joan’s younger sister (I always wanted a sister), that, when in my adult years I learned of her relationship with Bernie Madoff, I found it hard to believe.

Even though Joan lived right next door, the fact that we were in different schools, with different vacations and different activity interests and with parents who were friendly but not close friends, the situation was not conducive to forming a deep friendship. In my adult years when I learned of Ruth’s marriage experience I felt badly for her and for those affected by her husband’s financial dealings.

I had good high school, college, and nursing school friends. Which is probably why I got chosen for various leadership positions: class offices, prom committee leadership, etc. The nun who was the moderator for the high school prom committee taught me an important life lesson. Prom was held in the Fall of the year and it combined the seventh and eighth terms . I seem to remember five representatives were elected from each class and then they chose a chairwoman and a vice chairwoman . The reps from my term chose me and the seventh term reps chose one from their group. Problem was that even though I knew my classmates had chosen me I didn’t think it was appropriate to vote for myself for chairwoman so I voted for the seventh term rep who had won her classmates vote. Since she received one more vote than me, thanks to my vote, she became the chairwoman and I the vice chair. Afterward the moderator scolded me and actually gave me a lecture on ” know your value”. She focused her thoughts on when it was appropriate to be humble. She felt I would make the better chairwoman – the position had many responsibilities and the moderator thought I was better equipped to handle them. Since the moderator was normally a very quiet, soft spoken nun I was very surprised and effected by her scolding and her ” know your value ” thoughts.

As I look back at my life I have always valued friendships and felt that a few close friends were a very special gift. Today I am still close to several of my nursing school friends: Rene and Ann and Bev. Of course at age 89 I have lost some friendships that I especially cherished. Moira and Al were a couple that Jerry and I were both very close to. And the same can be said of Joanne and Jack. And there were others who have passed who are specially missed.

My brother Pete and his wife Louise are special friends whom we cherish. My priestly brother Bud/ Father Joe who died about ten years ago was an important presence in our lives.

I am truly blest that my best friend is my husband, Jerry. He is thoughtful and kind and caring and just plain fun to be with.

I am very moved by the words of St Thomas Aquinas:” There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”