PHASES OF LIFE

Jerry and I are in a new phase of life. We can now be referred to as elderly. Seems strange since we don’t feel elderly. But according to Google we are now in the third of the three life-stage sub groups of old age, the old-old group whose members are over 85. It is a bit of a shock since it all happened so quickly.

As a child I was a tomboy – a very easy path to follow since I had two brothers and I liked doing things with them. Doll playing was only an occasaional activity for me. I liked climbing trees and running races. When my brothers went off to high school they were both “big deals” on their high school track team. My all girls high school did not offer track which I would have liked. But maybe I would not have had time for track because my high school offered so many fun activities . The first time I landed a leading part in one of the school plays I knew I had found my favorite activity.

By high school time I had moved out of the tomboy phase of life and was investigating things feminine and I was starting to learn about boys and coming to terms with the difference between boys who were friends and a boyfriend. With two older brothers there were always a lot of boys in my life but this boyfriend concept was different.

My all girls high school, Mary Louis Academy, sponsored activities that included boys from various local all boy schools. There were some very well attended dances at Mary Louis where in an attempt to promote boy/girl mingling, the girls were directed to take off a shoe and place it in the middle of the gym floor where all dances were held. Boys were then told to pick up a shoe, find the girl owner, and dance with her.

By the time I was in 6th grade of grammar school I was 5 feet 6 inches tall and wore a size 10 shoe. Fortunately I stopped growing at that point but having reached a size 10 shoe by the 6th grade I was a bit self conscious about my shoe size. My friend Gracie probably wore a size 4. Fast forward to the high school dances and the Cinderella approach to promoting mixed couple dancing was a real turnoff for me. Also the shoes I wore were sturdy, sensible shoes – not exactly the kind to attract interest from the opposite sex.

I remember one of these dances where my shoe was actually picked by a nice guy who had come to the dance with several of his friends. At the end of the evening when he offered to take me home I accepted. None of my friends who were at the dance lived in my neighborhood. My father was going to come and pick me up – going home with this fellow would save Pop the trip. When the dance was over and we were heading out to my new friend’s car I learned that we were actually going in the car of one of my dance partner’s friends. It turned out that the friend was a very fast driver. I was not used to fast drivers and I was nervous and distracted from the fun chit chat I was having with my new friend. I started praying – at first silently and then verbally. They got me home safely. I never heard from my new friend again.

Heading off to college just a few days after my high school graduation, I was glad when I learned New York State was closing down winter school starts and that in the future, fall would be the starting date for all students – no matter when your birthday. The wrap up of one phase of schooling and advancement to the next needed to be properly celebrated and not just squeezed in, in the few days marking the end of one phase and the beginning of the next. |

A highlight of senior year was the Prom. Seventh term and eighth term seniors had a combined Prom. Each term voted for members of the Prom committee. I was honored when my eighth term classmates voted for me to be on the committee and further honored when the members from my class nominated me to be the Prom Chairwoman. I lost that position by one vote and became the co-chair. It was such a powerful learning for me when the nun who was the moderator of the prom committee, and my physics teacher, took me aside after the election and gave me a lecture on advocating for ones self. She said the student who won the spot had voted for herself and that was what I should have done. She said she could understand my reticence to vote for myself but that there were times in life when it was important to be comfortable with your strengths and to acknowledge them. It was a valuable lesson and one that I had never thought about.

With my fellow prom committee members, I enjoyed working on the mechanics of organizing our prom. It was traditionally held at the Hotel Pierre in New York City. I just Googled the hotel to see if it is still in existence and was pleased to learn that after all these years it has maintained its star studded status. While I found the work involved in setting up a prom for about two hundred young women and their dates to be very manageable and enjoyable, getting a date for myself was another matter. Some of my friends had actual boy friends so it was no problem for them. I was still more comfortable with boys who were friends than a boyfriend. So who to ask? I finally settled on David. He must have been going through the same decision making issues because he asked me to be his date for his prom. We had such fun at both events. There were no worries about trying to make a good impression.

Graduation was on I think – it was seventy years ago so I am not absolutely sure – a Sunday night with college beginning a few days later. It ws an honor to be one of the ten percernt of my graduating class to be chosen by classmates and faculty to wear the CLS blue and gold tassel on our graduation caps. CLS stood for Character, Loyalty and a Spirit of Study. It was an honor but one tthat quickly faded into the background with the start of college a few days later.

College was such an entirely different world than high school and I was ready. More about that in a future blog.