NOVEMBER CELEBRATIONS

65 years ago

November has always been a special month for me. Growing up it meant that we would be getting together with extended family to celebrate Thanksgiving. We alternated years with my father’s family and with my mother’s family. The family that we didn’t see at Thanksgiving we spent Christmas with. Both times were equally special.

November is a time of important birthdays. First there was my father’s on the 19th. And then came my cousin Jim’s, my cousin Kathy’s and with the passage of time our beloved daughter Meg, our niece Patty, and grandchildren Graham, Elsa and Quinn. And then there is our wedding anniversary on November 26 and Pete and Lou’s on the 28th. Lots of celebrating going on.

Jerry and I met on March 5 of 1960. I have said before that I am a great believer in novenas. At that time I was making a novena ( 9 days of special prayer) that if one of the fellows I was dating was Mr. Right that I would see the light. I had decided to attend daily mass as part of the novena. On Saturday, March 5 I set the alarm for a little after 8 am so I could make the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, the local parish that my roommates and I attended in Georgetown. It didn’t have any later mass on Saturdays. When the alarm went off I was still so sleepy that I reset it for eleven figuring that some neighboring parish must have a noon mass. When I awoke at eleven I called the neighboring churches and found that St, Matthews Cathedral had the twelve o’clock mass I was looking for. I had never been to that church before but was confident I would find my way. It was not the easy find I expected, there had been a heavy snowfall and the roads were not in the best condition. When I finally arrived at St Matthews parking was an issue because of the snowfall. Then I noticed a blue Volkswagen going up the driveway next to the church. I figured the driveway must have been an entry to parking behind the church. So up I went but then my car slid right back down. I tried again with the same sliding back down the hill result. By this time the driver of the blue Volkswagen had parked his car and was standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding performance. Finally he came over and asked if he could help. I moved out of the drivers seat, he climbed in, we exchanged introductions and smoothly up the hill we went and easily into a parking place. We went into mass, sat together and the rest is history.

We were married on November 26 of 1960 and this year we celebrated our 65th wedding anniversary, The anniversary festivities actually took place on Thanksgiving day. We had reserved the community room of our new apartment home for our family gathering. There were 23 in attendance. Our apartment home is lovely but the max it holds for this type of gathering is about 15. It was a yummy pot luck traditional Thanksgiving dinner followed by special singing performances which the children had organized.

When I was a young teen and finally realized that I really was not very musical I used to pray that if God wanted to perform a very dramatic miracle He would suddenly make me musical. Well that never happened but God did give me a very special gift – a musical husband and five very musical children. And now we have eighteen grandchildren and each one of them is musical. The musical performances on Thanksgiving Day were a very special gift to celebrate our anniversary. I have a problem with tearing up at happy times and our anniversary celebrtion brought out the happy tears big time. Mixed in with the performances of our children they had Jerry and me dance – something we both love to do.

We are truly blessed!!!

Beach Time and Birthday Time

The birthday men being honored♥️♥️♥️

Jim and Lisa kicked off Jerry and Jimmy’s birthday celebrations this year with such a fun gathering at their home that featured hitting plastic golf balls in the backyard, and best of all, playing a trivia game on Jerry’s life that had been put together by Jim.. There was also a yummy dinner and a mouth watering chocolate pie created by Jimmy.

When Jimmy Ferguson was born on Grandpa Jerry’s birthday August 26,1999 he was a very loved birthday gift. And down through the years it has always been so special when we celebrate their joint birthdays.

Several days later we headed to Ocean Grove for six glorious days at Jerry(son) and Teresa’s lovely home on the Jersey shore where we again honored Jerry(grandpa’s) 90th birthday. This number is a very special birthday and it was honored lovingly. I have also always liked that Jerry’s birthday is August 26. Mine is April 26. And our wedding anniversary is November 26. You can understand why the the number 26 is a favorite.

The Jerry birthday celebrations ended with our days in Ocean Grove and a special dinner where the birthday questions were again featured. This was followed by an intense and very fun game of charades.

I love the way our children and grandchildren and extended family focused on birthday activities and messages that reflected Jerry and what he likes. The thousand piece puzzle from the MacCurtins occupied our last days in Ocean Grove. Such fun to do and when we left the puzzle was more than ninety percent complete.

It was a blessing to do our birthday traveling with Maura and Paul. It was a blessing to celebrate with Joe and the precious grandchildren who were able to be in person at the celebrations. It was a blessing to get calls and messages from those who couldn’t be with us in person. Jerry and I are truly blessed in our family and in our friends.

Mid summer we were also on the Jersey shore for our family beach week. When the children were small our ocean time was focused on places on the Maryland and Deleware shore and for years we owned a condo in Bethany Beach, Deleware. As the children got older and more focused on wave riding we began a search for the perfect beach for wave riding. One year, after Jerry participated in a sprint triathlon on the Maryland shore, we traveled North up the shore line till we reached lower Jersey. We tested various beaches for their suitability for a family of enthusiastic and fearless wave riders. We struck gold in lower Jersey – lots of places where we liked what the beaches had to offer. Over the years we have tested various Jersey spots and now our most favorites are Diamond Beach and Ocean Grove.

Final thoughts : reflecting on the happy times of these past weeks may we always keep our focus on appreciating life’s joys.

MARCH HAPPINESS

Most people are familiar with the term March Madness and all its basketball implications. For the first round of this year’s March Madness tournament Jerry and I were at the top of the leader board in a pool run by our nephew Peter. We fully realized that all our basketball happiness could change in a minute if our picks didn’t continue to win and such was the case when the University of Maryland – the team that we picked to win the championship , Jerry’s alma mater – lost. Now I want to focus on a different kind of happiness.

March has always been a special month for me. Growing up on Long Island, New York in a four weather season climate, March was a favorite month as it ushered in the warmth of Spring and gave a hint of the flowering trees and plants to come. March weather can have the roar of lion or the calm of a lamb.

Last Thursday was a lamb kind of day – absolutely beautiful, the kind of the day you want to spend outdoors. Jerry and I golfed. It is a blessing that we have this fun activity that we enjoy doing together. When we were younger marrieds I also golfed with a Ladies group and Jerry had a regular Men’s group. Now sometimes we are joined by family members or if we are golfing at our own club, other members will join us. Since we golf two to three times a week we may hold the distinction of being the oldest active golfers in our club. This is a kind of strange distinction that we are still trying to process.

March happenings that have led to March Happiness: In January 1955 when I graduated from high school my academic plan was college to be followed by law school. That was the educational path of my mother and her identical twin sister and it seemed like a good one to me.

March 4 to March 13 is the time of the Novena of Grace to St Francis Xavier. This was always a very powerful prayer time for my mother. I was saying this novena that I make the right career decisions and also attending mass as part of the novena. In March 1955 One day, during that novena period, I was on a crowded subway going into Marymount College. Since I couldn’t get a seat and perhaps do some extra reading for class, I started reading the subway ads to help pass the time. The ad that I kept coming back to was by the American Red Cross promoting their Home Nursing classes. I was intrigued and decided that was a class I would follow up on after law school graduation and passing the bar exam. Pretty soon my thoughts had evolved to wondering how much thought had actually gone into my law school decision. Should I rethink that decision. Within a matter of days and with some research, my thoughts turned to the BSN nursing program at Cornell- New York hospital. Sixty college credits were required for admission to that program. I could do that at Marymount in a year and a half and enter the Cornell program in September 1956. Decision made – I was now on my way to a profession I came to truly love.

But the biggest blessing that came to me from embracing the Novena of Grace was when I met my husband-to-be on March 5 of 1960.

I moved to Washington after graduation from Cornell taking an apartment with two other young gals, Genevive and Janet, who both had just graduated from Trinity College in Washington and who wanted to start their work life in the nation’s capitol. Gen worked in marketing and Janet got a job teaching. I had been hired by Arlington County, VA as a public health nurse. We lived in Glover Park right outside of Georgetown. Having grown up in Laurelton, Long Island which is part of New York City and having all my schooling in New York City schools – that includes Cornell’s nursing school which along with their medical school is also located in New York City – moving to Washington DC was a big deal for me. I was both scared and very excited. The scary part was eased somewhat by the fact that both my brothers lived in or not too far from DC.

My Jesuit brother Bud taught at Gonzaga High School and lived there in the Jesuit residence . My brother Pete and his bride lived in Northern Virginia. It was a pretty ideal situation for me. I liked the friends I was living with and my brothers and new sister-in-law were close by.

On Saturday, March 5 of 1960, as part of that year’s Novena of Grace , I was planning on attending mass at Holy Trinity in Georgetown. I needed spiritual guidance about my dating life. Holy Trinity was the parish serving Glover Park where we lived. The night before my roomates and I were out rather late with friends. When the alarm went off at 8am – so I could get to the 9 o’clock mass at Holy Trinity, I was so so tired. It had been a very busy week at work. I reset the alarm for 11 o’clock and went back to sleep. Though I didn’t know the mass schedules of other churches I was sure I could find one that had a Saturday mass later than Holy Trinity’s 9am. Waking up at 11 I got phone busy right away. After a few phone calls I learned that St Matthew’s Cathedral had a 12 o’clock . I quickly dressed and was on my way – with my DC map since I had never been to St. Matthew’s. When I finally found the church I was a bit taken aback that in order to reach the church parking I had to go up a hill that was still showing the snow effects of the previous day’s storm. I saw a blue Volkswagen drive the snow covered hill with no problem. So up I started and slid back down. I tried again with the same results. By this time the driver of the blue Volks had parked his car and was now standing by the side of the hill watching my sliding episodes. Finally he called out, ” Can I help”. I had been taught as a child in New York not to talk to strangers. But this stranger was so appealing. I moved over, he climbed in and up the hill we went. We then attended mass together and when he walked me back to my car and asked for my phone number, I was pretty excited. I didn’t tell him but he had to call by Tuesday if he wanted to go out the next weekend. My roomates and I had pretty active social lives. After Tuesday I would probably have plans. Around 7:30 on Tuesday evening the phone rang. It was the call I had been hoping and praying for.

Jerry and I were engaged in June 1960 and married the following November. We first were planning to be married in June of 1961 and then we moved the date to February of 1961. That was the date we gave my parents. About two weeks later we gave them another call and said we would like to get married sooner, like on November 26 of 1960. I was concerned that my parents would think we were moving too quickly and was surprised that there was almost a tone of relief in their voices. And then my father shared that he had checked our February date with the Farmers’ Almanac. It forcasted a major snowstorm for Long Island. They were trying to decide what they should do when we called with the change of date. They were so relieved. As it turned out the Almanac was right – the major snow storm materalized.

I am a strong believer in the power of prayer. On November 26, 2025 Jerry and I will celebrate our 65th wedding anniuversary.

PHASES OF LIFE

Jerry and I are in a new phase of life. We can now be referred to as elderly. Seems strange since we don’t feel elderly. But according to Google we are now in the third of the three life-stage sub groups of old age, the old-old group whose members are over 85. It is a bit of a shock since it all happened so quickly.

As a child I was a tomboy – a very easy path to follow since I had two brothers and I liked doing things with them. Doll playing was only an occasaional activity for me. I liked climbing trees and running races. When my brothers went off to high school they were both “big deals” on their high school track team. My all girls high school did not offer track which I would have liked. But maybe I would not have had time for track because my high school offered so many fun activities . The first time I landed a leading part in one of the school plays I knew I had found my favorite activity.

By high school time I had moved out of the tomboy phase of life and was investigating things feminine and I was starting to learn about boys and coming to terms with the difference between boys who were friends and a boyfriend. With two older brothers there were always a lot of boys in my life but this boyfriend concept was different.

My all girls high school, Mary Louis Academy, sponsored activities that included boys from various local all boy schools. There were some very well attended dances at Mary Louis where in an attempt to promote boy/girl mingling, the girls were directed to take off a shoe and place it in the middle of the gym floor where all dances were held. Boys were then told to pick up a shoe, find the girl owner, and dance with her.

By the time I was in 6th grade of grammar school I was 5 feet 6 inches tall and wore a size 10 shoe. Fortunately I stopped growing at that point but having reached a size 10 shoe by the 6th grade I was a bit self conscious about my shoe size. My friend Gracie probably wore a size 4. Fast forward to the high school dances and the Cinderella approach to promoting mixed couple dancing was a real turnoff for me. Also the shoes I wore were sturdy, sensible shoes – not exactly the kind to attract interest from the opposite sex.

I remember one of these dances where my shoe was actually picked by a nice guy who had come to the dance with several of his friends. At the end of the evening when he offered to take me home I accepted. None of my friends who were at the dance lived in my neighborhood. My father was going to come and pick me up – going home with this fellow would save Pop the trip. When the dance was over and we were heading out to my new friend’s car I learned that we were actually going in the car of one of my dance partner’s friends. It turned out that the friend was a very fast driver. I was not used to fast drivers and I was nervous and distracted from the fun chit chat I was having with my new friend. I started praying – at first silently and then verbally. They got me home safely. I never heard from my new friend again.

Heading off to college just a few days after my high school graduation, I was glad when I learned New York State was closing down winter school starts and that in the future, fall would be the starting date for all students – no matter when your birthday. The wrap up of one phase of schooling and advancement to the next needed to be properly celebrated and not just squeezed in, in the few days marking the end of one phase and the beginning of the next. |

A highlight of senior year was the Prom. Seventh term and eighth term seniors had a combined Prom. Each term voted for members of the Prom committee. I was honored when my eighth term classmates voted for me to be on the committee and further honored when the members from my class nominated me to be the Prom Chairwoman. I lost that position by one vote and became the co-chair. It was such a powerful learning for me when the nun who was the moderator of the prom committee, and my physics teacher, took me aside after the election and gave me a lecture on advocating for ones self. She said the student who won the spot had voted for herself and that was what I should have done. She said she could understand my reticence to vote for myself but that there were times in life when it was important to be comfortable with your strengths and to acknowledge them. It was a valuable lesson and one that I had never thought about.

With my fellow prom committee members, I enjoyed working on the mechanics of organizing our prom. It was traditionally held at the Hotel Pierre in New York City. I just Googled the hotel to see if it is still in existence and was pleased to learn that after all these years it has maintained its star studded status. While I found the work involved in setting up a prom for about two hundred young women and their dates to be very manageable and enjoyable, getting a date for myself was another matter. Some of my friends had actual boy friends so it was no problem for them. I was still more comfortable with boys who were friends than a boyfriend. So who to ask? I finally settled on David. He must have been going through the same decision making issues because he asked me to be his date for his prom. We had such fun at both events. There were no worries about trying to make a good impression.

Graduation was on I think – it was seventy years ago so I am not absolutely sure – a Sunday night with college beginning a few days later. It ws an honor to be one of the ten percernt of my graduating class to be chosen by classmates and faculty to wear the CLS blue and gold tassel on our graduation caps. CLS stood for Character, Loyalty and a Spirit of Study. It was an honor but one tthat quickly faded into the background with the start of college a few days later.

College was such an entirely different world than high school and I was ready. More about that in a future blog.

CHRISTMAS TIME 2024

A picture of my brother Bud. We miss him!!!

Have always loved this season of the year – both the religious aspects and the Santa Clause influen

The religious aspects were dominant in my home in my growing years . My mother was a firm believer in special Advent prayers to honor the birth of Jesus and that religious belief helped to put the right focus on this special holy/holiday time. We shared Christmas dinner with either my father’s family or my mother’s. My parents strove to make the religious aspects of Christmas dominant.

As the youngest in the fanily I was the last to lose my belief in Santa Clause. My parents used to take us to Gertz Department store in Jamaica, Long Island, for our annual visit with Santa. I remember my final visit – guess I was around ten years of age and my Santa belief was a little shaky but I wanted to go. Since my brothers were telling me that Santa was just a nice story but not real – they were not allowed into the store’s North Pole village . They stood behind the fence surrounding the village. And when it became time for me to sit on Santa’s lap my brothers moved to a spot behind the fence where they could hear my conversation with Santa. When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas they started calling out things they wanted. I got an attack of the giggles. Santa was very kind but it was my last childhood visit with him. My Santa belief was gone.

In my student nurse days at Cornell I remember well the first Christmas that I had to work in the hospital. I so loved this time of yeaI could not imagine missing my family celebration. Well, much to my surprise, it turned out to be a very special celebration. It was a gift to care for those who were hospitalized – especially those who had no one to visit with them.

For many of our married years my brother Pete and his wife Louise and Jerry and I joined together to celebrate this special time. We took turns traveling to Long Island. It was a blessing when my parents in their retirement years moved to Maryland to be nearer to us and to Pete and Louise. And since Jerry was an only child we were always blessed in being able to share the holidays with his parents.

When he returned from his missionary years in Chile, my priestly brother Bud, also known as Uncle Bud or Father Joe, resumed his place as an important part of our family lives. Whether he was teaching at Gonzaga High School or running a retreat house in Virginia he always found time for his family. A special gift from Bud was the many home masses that he said for us. I particularly found his Christmas masses very powerful. When our family and Pete and Louise’s family and our parents all gathered together for a Christmas home mass I ceased to wonder if we were doing an effective job of focusing on the true meaning of Christmas. As I said in a previous blog, in 2022, Bud holds a special place in all our lives. We miss him.

Our children – our five and Pete and Lou’s four – have always been close – which is very special. We kept up the tradition to gather for Christmas with them for many years. Sometimes – with a little parental help – the children would put on a Nativity pageant which added the right emphasis for our gatherings. When we no longer had a child young enough to represent Baby Jesus the gatherings morphed into Christmas sing-a-longs. These were such happy gatherings but as the children got older, our sing-a-long participants increased to forty plus attendees. But when Covid struck we had to bring the sing-a-longs to a close.

This year we are hosting two special gatherings at our home. We will have about twenty seven of our nuclear family for Christmas dinner. It might sound like an intimidating number but everyone pitches in. Atar has sent out the signup sheet for what folks want to bring for dinner and the sheet is filling up nicely. Three days later we are hosting a party honoring the marriage of Amy and Jeremy. We are very blessed and we know it.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Last week we had dinner with my brother Pete and his wife Louise. We were at a restaurant in the Hyatt Hotel in Reston- a nice half way meeting point between our home in Fairfax and their’s in Mc Lean. Pre pandemic it was a fun place to go. Good food, quiet environment, clientele mostly contemporaries, and free parking. We had not been there in over two years. When I called to make the reservations I learned that the restaurant had been bought out by a very “hip ” restaurant. We did’t realize that with new ownership came a new clientele, mostly in the twenty to fifty age group, who preferred a noisy bar scene. Food was still very good. Parking was no longer free. We were so pleased to be together but it was noisy. We were grateful when the crowd started to thin and it was easier to hear one another.

I have been reflecting on our long and meaningful friendship with Pete and Louise and on the importance of friendship in each of our lives. I am particularly moved by the friendship words of Oprah Winfrey: ” lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus when the limo breaks down”.

When Pete and I and our brother Bud were growing up we were blessed with many older family members. And then their numbers started to dwindle. As I have mentioned in previous blogs great Aunt Rose was particularly good to me. I think she thought I was a bit too uptight and it was her goal to “loosen” me up a bit. I loved her very much, and was very sad when she died. I was about 12. I remember going with my parents and my brothers to the wake which preceded her funeral. Many in our big family had come together to honor Rose. There was a gathering room and a viewing room. My parents and Pete and Bud went into the viewing room. I stayed in the gathering room with family and friends but really more by myself. I was just too upset. After a while my brothers came back to be with me. I nervously asked how great Aunt Rose looked. I can’t remember which of the boys replied but one said, ”Well she looked OK till she realized you were not there with us. Then she sat up and said,” where is Peggy Ann?” (the name she always called me). This was such a silly response it made me smile and finally gave me the courage to enter the viewing room and pay my last respects to my beloved Aunt.

Great Aunt Mary, Rose’s sister, was the last of that generation to pass. She died at 97. I became closer to her when I was a student nurse at Cornell University. The Cornell nursing school and med school are both in New York City. They were not far from Aunt Mary’s apartment. She would frequently invite me to dinner. It was such a gift to share my student nursing experiences with her. She had been a student nurse in the 1890’s. As Mary’s friends and family members passed I was introduced to the concept of old age without contemporary friends. It was a concept that I knew but didn’t really understand the significance. But now I do.

The Hyatt in Reston where we dined with Pete and Louise was a place we often went for dinner with our friends Moira and Al. One evening in particular stands out. When we walked from the Hyatt parking garage to their restaurant we passed through the hotel lobby. It was so crowded . There were lots of small groups gathered together. Some were singing softly and they were good. When we got to the restaurant there was again the low murmur of singing coming from various tables. The waitress explained that it was a convention of barber shop quartet singers. They were projecting such a happy energy that when our dinner was over we were having such fun with Moira and Al we decided to walk around the hotel and scope out what was going on. The hotel had a big auditorium with an endless number of rows of chairs. We ended up filing in there with Moira and Al and hundreds of the conventioneers. We felt a tad silly but again we were having such fun. The various groups that performed in the show that followed were outstanding. At a break in the entertainment an officer of the national organization got up to talk. He gave an impassioned plea that members attend the national convention that was coming up in several months. I think it was going in San Francisco. He asked for a show of hands for those who might be able to attend. He had been so impassioned I couldn’t believe it when no one raised their hands. I looked at Moira. I could tell that she also felt badly at the lack of response. And then we realized that Jerry and Al were both raising their hands. And when those who were going to the convention were asked to stand, Jerry and Al did and finally more folks joined them and the speaker was satisfied. Moira and I were astonished, glad and a little giggly at what our guys had done. When the speaker was followed by a brief intermission we left. Moira and Al were such close friends. It was hard when they both died. Moira first and Al in the last two years. Good friends are a special treasure – in good times, in tough times and in silly times.

Now that Jerry and I are in our mid eighties we are grateful to have survived some difficult health issues. We take nothing for granted. We are very aware that each day is a blessing. We are fortunate to have a supportive and loving family and to have close friends. I don’t think one needs a lot of close friends. A close friend is a treasure. One you may have frequent contact with one another, you can then go for years without seeing one another and then when life’s circumstances bring you back together again you pick up the friendship as if there has been no time lapse. Jerry and I have just started up again a book discussion time with our friends Bob and Dot. We last did this with them in the 1960’s when we lived near one another. Now they are in North Carolina. We meet over Face time about every six weeks.

This morning I got a phone call from a dear friend Chris. Her husband Jim is in the hospital. A month ago we golfed and had dinner together. Another couple that we are close to is Jan and Bill. Not too long ago we played bridge and had dinner with them. Bill is now recovering from a stroke. Each day with family and friends is a treasure – not to be taken for granted.