Growing up I always cherished both Thanksgiving and Christmas. and I still feel that way today. Both the spiritual aspects and the just plain fun special times resonate with me. When Jerry and I were young parents we divided these holiday times between Jerry’s parents who lived not too far from us in DC and my New York/ New Jersey family. We got together with both my father’s family and my mother’s family – not necessarily together but at some time over the holidays. My mother’s twin sister had two children – a son, Jimmy, the age of my brother Pete and a daughter, Fran, just a little older than my brother Bud. It was particularly special to spend time with them.
Mom and Aunt Marg graduated from Barnard College of Columbia University. They attended Cornell for two years but made the decision to transfer to Barnard when their attorney father’s biggest client, the Leigh Valley railroad, was taken over by the federal government durning World War l. At that time grandfather was offered a partnership with a New York law firm – which he accepted. He and Nana relocated to New York City – to an apartment on 96th street right off Madison Avenue. I loved visiting there as a child.
We spent time with Jerry’s parents and then we headed to Long Island to visit my parents for these special holidays. There were also visits to my father’s family in New Jersey and then our New York City family: grandparents, great aunts, aunts and uncles and cousins.
When our daughter Meg was born and we now had five children in under six years, these New York/New Jersey visits became productions, sometimes a bit overwhelming. But soon my father retired from teaching and my parents stepped back from their law practice. At this time my Jesuit brother, Bud, was teaching at Gonzaga High School; my brother Pete and his wife and their children were living in Virginia. Jerry and I and the children lived in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, a suburb of DC. Mom and Pop decided to head to the DC area and they found a house in our community and they settled there. It was so much fun and so helpful to have them close by.
Though Thanksgiving and Christmas honor two very different events I have always looked upon them as celebrating the uniqueness of our family. Once my parents moved close by we celebrated these occasions with them and with Pete and Louise and their children. And these occasions were made even more special when our priestly brother, Bud, was able to celebrate a home mass. We loved these home masses. There was a peace and an intimacy and a sharing that made them very special. When Bud died seven plus years ago and we returned to crowded church celebrations, we finally realized how spoiled we were by his meaningful home masses. We have been experimenting with different ways to recapture that specialness that the home masses provided.
This past Thanksgiving we were twenty four in number – a smallish number for us. Three precious granddaughters were either studying or working in Europe. And Emily and David were with his family in Indiana. And Charlie was in Chicago. Of recent years we have always had three tables at family dinners: one for the “older” adults, another for the young adults and one for the children. Well we no longer have need of a children’s table. Poised and competent Atar at sixteen is the youngest grandchild. When Atar offered to team with me in preparing for Thanksgiving dinner, I knew the children’s table had to go. We set up the young adult table for twelve in the living room and the “older” adults occupied the dining room. Atar and I put together a menu and sent it to all family members who would be joining us on Thanksgiving Day, inviting them to sign up for any dish on the menu that intrigued them. Atar signed up for the turkey. She had been reading up on turkey preparation and wanted to give it a try. It was a yummy success.
On Thanksgiving Day, at the”older” adult table we went around the table and asked each person to share what they were especially thankful for. We laid out the ground rule that we knew we were each blessed in family so please don’t focus on family. We made no attempt to enforce that ground rule. Well good thing because just about everyone mentioned family but then they moved on and expanded their thanks. It was actually very special and the sharing promoted a warmth that was truly a blessing.
And now we are focusing on Christmas. Last weekend we were in New York for four days. staying with my cousin Liane and Ron but spending some very happy time with our son Jerry and Teresa at the Cousin Party which they hosted and at the NYC production of Hadestown where Jerry and Teresa, Jeremy and Amy, and Jerry and I were transported to a fictional world in the best tradition of Broadway. And I must not leave out the Metropolitan Museum where we saw the Degas/Manet exhibit. These were four wonderful action packed days. The trips to New York at the start of the Christmas season have become a very special tradition.
Today we went to HOLIDAY POPS at the Kennedy Center with Jim, Lisa, Jimmy, Meggie and Josh. It was all that you could ask for in a Christmas Holiday show. It starred the National Symphony Orchestra and Broadway star Norm Lewis and his amazing voice. It was uplifting and stirring. It was a wonderful focus on the meaning of Christmas. Tomorrow the Thanksgiving decorations get completely put away and more Christmas decorations will make their appearance. Now it’s late and I am headed to bed.
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